My partner and I have been going out for just under two years. We live together and we have an amazing relationship, but now I’ve stopped taking my contraception pill without him knowing.
He knows I want a baby, but he says he’s not ready. Now I’m worried I might lose him altogether. I guess I could already be pregnant, which makes me really happy, but scared at the same time.
Should I be honest with him and tell him I’ve stopped taking the pill or just wait and see what happens?
You have to tell him. Tricking him and hoping he’ll just say, ‘OK then’ is hugely unfair and a big risk on your part.
We’re talking about another life here, and it’s also a massive lifestyle change that takes some getting used to, as wonderful as it is. If you do get pregnant, what you don’t want is him feeling resentful that you tricked him into it.
That really could spell the end of your relationship.
And what about those nights when the baby is up screaming – will it cause an argument every time because having a child was your decision? Tricking your partner is not a great way to start off family life. Yes, there’s always a chance he’ll say, ‘Great, I’m glad’. But the likelihood is that he won’t be happy about it as he’s told you he doesn’t feel ready.
If you love him, and he loves you, then discuss it sensibly and work out a time frame of when to start trying that you’re both happy with.
More of our agony aunt Coleen Nolan’s advice on your sex, family, health and relationship problems