I recently read an article about a girlfriend who was jealous of her boyfriend’s success after he landed his dream job.
I’m in a similar situation.
I wouldn’t say I’m bitter towards him – in fact, I’m really proud that I have a partner who is doing so well.
But I feel a sense of tension and fear.
What if he leaves me because I’m technically unemployed and he’s successful?
I know it may sound crazy to some but to me it feels real and I need a way of coping with it.
I get so anxious every time he mentions anything job related.
I feel awful that I’m not coming across as more supportive.
What can I do to change this before it becomes toxic between us?
Most couples go through a period in their relationship where one is more successful or earning more than the other.
Yes, it can dent your pride and feelings of self-worth but it shouldn’t.
You’re not unemployable, you’re just not employed at the moment.
If you love each other and it’s a genuine partnership, then your boyfriend will take the strain while you look for something.
If you were sitting in front of the telly and contributing nothing to the relationship, then he’d have a right to wonder what you were playing at, but you’re not.
You might feel better if you become more proactive about finding a job you like, a course or volunteer work.
Doing something towards what you want to do will help build your confidence.
And don’t assume that when your boyfriend is talking about his job he’s boasting or having a dig at you – I think that assumption is more to do with how you’re feeling about yourself than what he thinks.
He’s probably just excited and wants to share his good fortune with you.
More of our agony aunt Coleen Nolan’s advice on your sex, family, health and relationship problems