My ex-partner wants me back.
He’s also the father of my two children (aged four and eight), and it’s killing me saying no even though I know it’s for the best.
After 14 years of lies, cheating and generally making me feel like nothing, I kicked him out last August and told him to sort himself out and grow up or leave us alone.
He’s since said being at his mum’s made him realise the single life was working and he didn’t want to come back.
Even though I was the one who asked him to move out in the first place, I was shocked and pretty devastated, but I picked myself up and got back on my feet, and I’m now trying to date again.
But, guess what? He suddenly wants me back.
I suppose the single life wasn’t all it was cracked up to be.
I do believe he’s made some positive changes in the time he’s been away.
But he’s made changes before, only to come back and fall into his old ways again.
I’ve only contacted him to talk about the kids, but he constantly calls to ask me out and it’s draining.
I’ve told him I’ve forgiven him, but that he did break my heart, so there’s no way I want him back.
Yet it’s hard because I need to have contact with him for the children.
How do I get him to leave me alone, so we can both move on properly?
I think it’s a case of, ‘I’m not sure if I want you, but I don’t want anyone else to have you either’.
He seemed pretty fine with his decision until you looked like you were moving on and getting back in the dating pool.
It’s not his decision any more.
I understand how hard it is because he’s the father of your kids. I was left with two boys when my first marriage broke up.
However, it seems to me that you’re doing great and coping well – so carry on and things will only get better from this point.
It would be a real shame if you took him back just because things aren’t working out as well for him as he’d hoped and he’s realised the grass isn’t greener.
The reality is, he’s living back home with his mum while you’re happier and dating again.
If you take him back and let him carry on battering your self-esteem, you might not have the confidence to get to this point again.
Don’t give him the opportunity to do that to you.
Yes, it’s hard as a single parent. I’ve been there, but you can do it.
And if it’s a case of asking a friend or family member to deliver and pick up your kids, then do that until he realises he’s not going to win you over.
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