I’m a gay guy and have been with my partner for three years. At the moment, I’m looking to have a baby without telling him. I’ve been meeting up with a potential surrogate mother and I’m due to see her again next week. She’s agreed to carry a child for me.
If it works out, I’m considering not telling him until after the baby is born. Am I in the wrong? I know he will be mad at me, but then he’ll get just on with it. I hope. What do I do?
If you love your partner and still want him to be a part of your life and your child’s then, yes, I think you are in the wrong.
You can’t keep something like that a secret – it’s a child we’re talking about. Are you just going to walk in one day and present him with a baby? You must never surprise anyone in this way. If you tell him from the beginning he’ll have time to digest the information and you’ll know if you’re going to end up being a single parent or part of a couple.
Tell him you’re determined to become a dad and that you hope he’ll be part of it.
If he’s adamant he doesn’t want a child, then fine. Be a single parent if having a baby means more to you than keeping your partner. But you can’t just turn up and present him with a baby one day. It’s not a cute stray cat that you’re hoping he’ll agree to keep.
I’d also make sure you’re going about this in the right way and are aware of all the implications and potential pitfalls.
For more information, visit surrogacyuk.org .
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