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Getting dating and relationship advice from women can have its obvious benefits. They’re behind enemy lines — they know the opposition and can offer a play-by-play on how to win a dating battle. Given their innate understanding of the female mind, it would stand to reason that women should be a man’s main source of intel, right? No — about face, soldier! You have to realize that most women deal in half-truths when doling out pearls of dating wisdom. It’s not a deliberate sabotage; it’s simply a case of what women want and what they say they want not quite overlapping. Here are the standard-issue examples of advice you shouldn’t take from women.
This isn’t a total lie on the part of the hordes of women who say it. Many females fancy themselves mature individuals who want to see beyond the dating games into the real soul of the guy hitting on her. But let’s be real; no one is their actual self when they’re first meeting someone they’re attracted to. If that were the case, women would go to bars wearing their comfy sweats and no makeup, and we all know that’s not what you’re seeing when you’re out on a Friday night. Women try to put out the best, shiniest versions of themselves when they’re on the prowl, and they expect the same from you.
Bottom line: Girls want to get to know the real you, but only to a certain extent. Save the Battlestar Galactica obsession and ex-girlfriend sob stories for the fifth or sixth date.
“We’re just looking for nice guys”
At its core, this is valid: No self-respecting woman wants to be with a total asshole who doesn’t treat her right. But there’s more to it than that. There have been actual studies done (science time!) that suggest that a woman’s conscious ideal of what she’s looking for in a man (what she says she wants when she sits down and thinks about it) more often than not doesn’t match the type of man she ultimately goes for when presented with real-life choices. Women think they want the unfailingly nice guy, but when it comes to their base instincts, they’re attracted to the guy who is just a little bit mysterious and a teensy bit arrogant — at least at first. There’s nothing like that initial chemical rush for a woman when a man approaches her not as Prince Charming but as a funny, confident guy who teases her just a little. Men aren’t the only ones who like a challenge.
Bottom line: A guy who isn’t fawning all over a girl the first time he meets her is much more attractive than an eager-beaver boy who weeps when watching Chocolat.
Read on for more advice you shouldn’t take from women…