Being Friends With The Ex
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In most relationships, the time to say goodbye usually arrives at one point or another — unless you intend to walk down the aisle, of course (and even then…). With your ex, you’ve shared memories that will either make you laugh or cry, and it’s time to take your experiences, put them in your back pocket and move on. But somewhere on the road of parting ways couples feel the need to promise to stay friends — which ultimately leads to more broken promises.
So, can you ever be friends with your ex? Does it have to be all-or-nothing?
Although it would make things much easier in the dating world, relationships rarely see mutual breakups. One person is usually the heartbreaker, while the other mulls over the breakup for weeks, even months. It’s never easy to break up with someone you’ve shared good times with (and even if they were bad times, they were still times).
But the person who does the breaking up feels like less of a bad guy by offering that sense of truce: “It’s not you, it’s me. We can still be friends.” This peace offering of friendship provides the dumper with the solace of knowing they aren’t such a horrible person because they still want to be friends with their ex.
I’ve created a monster
Not only does it give the dumper the comfort of knowing they aren’t monsters, but by wanting to remain friends, it also allows the dumper to feel that their former lover will still be in their life, and they won’t have to miss having them around.
So now the dumper can move on with their life with ease, and with the pleasure of having coffee with their former mate every so often. The person who got dumped, however, has the pleasure of being constantly reminded of the person who ripped out their heart when they receive friendly messages and e-mail.
Obviously, these messages on the machine and coffee dates don’t last long, and if they do, they end even worse than the breakup.
So, having considered all this, can you ever be friends with your ex? We say no. Find out why.
exes must stay that way because
You’ve seen each other naked
Although it may be possible to have casual sex with a friend, even this can damage a relationship. As hard as it is to accept, it’s difficult to bring a relationship back to its normal state after having been intimate with someone. You will always have an image of that person naked, and memories of the trysts will always be triggered by the smell of her skin or perfume, or even by hearing a song that you once made passionate love to.
And as thick-skinned as you are, it’s hard to see the person in the same light after being entangled in each other’s skin and sharing a moment of sheer ecstasy with one another.
Can you ever be friends with your ex? We say no, and we have more reasons…