10 Things Women Really Wish We Knew
1. White lies are OK. (In moderation)
There are moments of truth in every relationship. Questions such as “Is she prettier than me?” “Did I snore last night?” “Will I get that job?” “I dress better than her though, right?” are not those moments. Don’t hesitate, don’t think and definitely don’t say anything close to: “Not better, just….. different.” Unless you’re looking for a fight.
2. Arrogant guys come last
Whoever coined “nice guys finish last” was deluded. Weak men finish last. Arrogant pricks who think the way to impress a woman is through name dropping and boasting finish last. Nice guys who are interesting, interested and make us laugh finish first, every time.
3. If we ask for space, we still want you to call
We don’t always mean what we say. If you and your girlfriend have had an almighty row and she wants to be alone, obviously don’t follow her to her mum’s and wait by the front door. But definitely text her that night to check she’s OK. We like knowing you care.
4. We like you to be a little jealous
I recently made a joke about my straight, male roommate nearly seeing me naked, to which my boyfriend shrugged and said; “I’m sure he’s seen a naked woman before, it doesn’t bother me.” BUT I WANT IT TO BOTHER YOU, I screamed. Turns out he was playing down his jealous streak because he didn’t want to seem controlling. Nice. And obviously we don’t want a horribly possessive man, but a little jealousy is healthy.
5. You don’t have to call every day
At the start of a relationship — you know, the first few months — it’s nice to keep an air of mystery. We don’t need you to check in constantly and we certainly don’t mind you going out with the boys instead, just as long as you’re not cancelling plans with us in order to do so. Any good relationship has independence.
6. Foreplay never gets old
I blame Hollywood. All those sex scenes where a guy unzips and leaps atop his partner to find her instantly writhing around in ecstasy are brutally misleading. And they don’t even look sexy. They look stupid. It’s potentially very dangerous for male audiences. But you, dear reader, are wise and know that, like pouring the perfect Guinness, some things just can’t be rushed.
7. Pay attention to the little things
Because they mean the most. Her favourite chocolate, how she likes her coffee, even just picking up some bin liners from Tesco because you remembered she ran out this morning. So considerate.
8. One week out of the month we’re allowed to be kind of a bitch
Periods suck. I’m not kidding, it’s like a crippling three-day hangover that makes us cry at the news and shout at the toaster. If Mother Nature can be a bitch, so can we. So cut us some slack. I know what you’re thinking — “It can’t be that bad.” How would you like it if we witnessed you being hit in the crotch by a football, but rolled our eyes as you cowered to the floor?
9. We don’t care about Adonis abs
Women don’t like men calorie counting, protein shaking or sweating it out at the gym every single day. We like real men with real bodies and real appetites.
10. What we are actually thinking
I know this is asking a lot so, until telepathy becomes a skill you can add to your CV along with ‘Power Point proficiency’ and ‘high end micromanaging,’ just listen to us a bit more and perhaps try to pick up on the odd signal.