Tales Of A Serial Singleton: The Modern Wingman
It’s a safe assumption that we all find it easier to meet potential partners when out with friends. Being amongst those you are tight with improves self-belief, confidence, and in someways, increases your attractiveness level. I mean, being part of a social group is surely more appealing than being the weirdo sat on his own in the corner. Hence the continued importance of a high end wingman.
I’ve found that when you are back on the dating scene and lack the confidence to go it alone, a wingman is that support unit that can coax you in the right direction. Not always, but often. Depending on the kind of girls you want to meet, finding the right-hand man for the job is an important stepping stone to get your mojo back.
Urban Dictionary defines a ‘wingman’ rather succinctly. “A guy you bring along with you on singles outings that helps you out with women.” This is true, and so much more.
I’m not talking about the outmoded wingmen you’ve likely read about in Neil Strauss’ The Game. The dudes I’m talking about are the friends who offer the genuine, hard but fair advice and possess the requisite charm to chat amiably with a group of girls. Without being creepy.
The wingman must be an equal, the type of character who knows what you are about, what you are after and what you have to offer. Be it on a bus, in a bar, walking through the park or shopping in a convenience store, the wingman in question is the back-up to help you get you over the top. Someone you trust to have your back.
Ordinarily you will find this person from within your friendship group. They could be single themselves and provide a valuable source of solidarity and understanding. Alternatively, they might themselves even be attached but signing up to your mission with purely selfless motivations.
The wingman should be aware of your intentions; the type of woman you want to date, the characteristics you’d like her to have and most importantly, the ability to wax lyrical about why you are such a catch — from heroic deeds and funny anecdotes to. Translation: he should be a good liar. I jest, reader.
Additionally, they will require skills in reconnaissance to find out what your object of desire might be interested in, what sort of approach she favours and crucially, if she already has a boyfriend. Essential information.
Don’t be shy of asking your female friends to assist either. Women can be a great partner-in-crime. Their generosity tends to know no bounds and girls can provide priceless insider intel in relating to a targets wants and needs. They’re able to read body language far better than your male counterparts. Often able to elicit conversation that connects you with the beliefs and values the girl you want is searching for.
Ultimately, you need a selfless comrade who’ll pull you out of your comfort zone and help you to the finish line. A friend who has no issue in helping you approach potential partners. With you returning the favour if necessary. Fair’s fair.