AskWomen: What Women Want From Online Dating
Modern dating in Britain is very different to that of our American cousins. And that is no more evident when it comes to online dating.
Whilst everyone in the US has an OKCupid profile, online dating in the UK has its own etiquette for e-meeting potential dates.
Naturally, we Brits feel more comfortable with the subtle pick-up. Online dating profiles can feel so brash, so in-your-face, so I’M HERE TO DO ONE THING AND ONE THING ONLY. AND THAT THING IS TO FIND ME SOME SEXYTIME. Of course, when that is all you really want, a dating site is an efficient way to find someone who is looking for the same thing. But putting yourself out on that platform to be judged is a nerve-wracking endeavour. And then it can be incredibly challenging to develop a meaningful relationship with someone when your initial shared interest was simply simply desiring a relationship.
That’s why social media opens up a whole new world of online introduction, flirting and dating opportunities, and is our panel’s platform of choice. Facebook is a bit too personal for meeting people first-hand, but the casual, open nature of Twitter means that anyone can strike up a rapport with anyone, jump in and out of conversation, get a much better impression of that person’s personality, and talk to people you have no mutual friends with without any of it being creepy.
And then for traditional, just-like-the-movies online dating, there’s online profile etiquette – in our experts’ experience, and as Cosmopolitan’s Rosie Mullender points out in our panel, statistics show that both men and women exaggerate and lie on certain aspects of their profile. The average man will add three imaginary inches to his height (an OKCupid study recently showed that men with taller heights on their profile do get more replies from women, wheras shorter women received more messages from men, so the temptation to embellish is perhaps justified), whilst women will shave years off their age and dress size — so when using dating sites, it’s important that you allow some leeway for the figures you’re reading.
The best dating profiles are engaging, interesting, and make people want to get to know you. You should be honest and upfront — but sell yourself on your personality and charm rather than by exaggerating your measurements. There’s no point being dishonest online, because as soon as your date meets you, they’ll realise you were a bit too liberal with the truth.
So then, how should one go about finding a partner, be it casual or serious, online? Enjoy some witty exchanges on Twitter, agree our panel, but never ask to be followed. It’s weird in real life and it’s weird on the internet. When used correctly, both social media and dating sites provide a brilliant opportunity to meet dates that you connect with, who you wouldn’t have by hanging around bars attempting to ‘pick up’ women.
In episode two of AskWomen UK, watch our panel of professional lifestyle authors and editors — Charleen French, editor of SoHairObsessed, author Daisy Buchanan, Cosmopolitan’s deputy features editor Rosie Mullender and myself, AskMen’s own — are here to help you by discussing the true, honest-to-God key to transforming an online relationship into a real one.