Tales of A Serial Singleton: The Plus One
Along with tube delays, overcooked steak and Starbucks getting your name wrong even though you said it twice (and-are-you-sure-this-is-skimmed-milk-in-my-latte?) there is no middle class problem for the London single man quite like the wedding invite addressed to you ‘plus guest’.
Granted, it’s a welcome alternative to sitting through a friend or relation’s nuptials entirely on your own, as making small talk with a pitying barman all night is only less embarrassing as your inevitable four trips to the buffet table. But on the rare occasion you’re afforded the luxury of bringing along a plus one, deciding who to take is quite the dilemma.
I still have two months until the big day (a chintzy two-dayer at the Eden Project, with a guaranteed overnight stay and – if all goes to plan – a chance of romance) and the way I see it, the following possibilities are at my disposal.
Someone you’ve dated in the past, but for whatever reason, didn’t pursue. Odds are you’ve remained on friendly terms and there’s no ill will or awkwardness regarding your former frisson. See also: ‘The One That Got Away’.
Someone you are already seeing, enjoy spending time with and could see yourself in a relationship with. A date of this nature is the perfect facilitator to encourage longevity, especially as becoming ‘exclusive’ won’t seem half as daunting in the backdrop of veils, cake and marriage certificates.
Someone new, perhaps a second or third date with someone you’re excited about and wouldn’t mind seeing where it goes. But be warned, its spontaneous nature allows itself to catch a girl off guard and/or spook her into never talking to you again. You’ve been warned.
Someone you are attracted and you know you’ll have fun with. The sort of girl who’ll only call at 3am and is far more interested in a good time than a commitment. She may love the idea as once the hymns and confetti’s done with, weddings are booze-heavy marathon parties. On the other hand, is taking a commitment-fearing party girl to a ceremony of legally-binding, lifelong vowels really the best idea?
A friend, male or female who you can just hang with. A safe bet for a good laugh, alcohol session and more than likely, ally to attract any other singletons attending. Sure, it might not be the ideal scenario (and taking a male friend will only further Aunt Edith’s suspicions), but you’ll probably have a better time with someone in this bracket than anyone else, sleeping arrangements notwithstanding.
Whatever the result, I’m laying the groundwork now in the blind hope I don’t have to spend an entire day gazing at an empty chair. I think I’d rather take a random AskMen reader than see that happen. Actually, come to think of it, what are you up to in two months this Saturday?