7 Tips For Making Marriage Last, From Older Couples Who’ve Been There And Done It
When it comes to healthy relationships, there are two things we know from both traditional research and the good old University of Life. First, many young people today find the whole issue of committed relationships to be complex, difficult and confusing. Second, despite that fact, they still believe in marriage. In fact, surveys show that the vast majority of people in their 20s and 30s plan to get married, hope it will last forever and expect to be faithful to their partner.
The question is: How can they reach those goals happily? As a family sociologist, a few years ago the idea hit me: Why not go to the oldest people in our society and ask their advice for love and marriage? It struck me that people looking back from the finish line of marriage might have useful insights for younger folk. And I wasn’t disappointed: As described in my book 30 Lessons for Loving our elders have advice that is fresh, unexpected and, most of all, useful.
What follows are tips for finding the right person and staying together happily for decades — by the people who have already done it.
Karl A. Pillemer, PhD is a professor of human development at Cornell University and professor of gerontology in medicine at the Weill Cornell Medical College. An internationally renowned gerontologist, his research examines how people develop and change throughout their lives. Follow Karl on Twitter @KarlPillemer.