5 Date Ideas Based On Your End Goal
You might think that modern dating means you no longer have to take the lead when it comes to relationships, but many experts argue that the courting process between guys and girls not only still exists, but is also still important. While your girlfriend might not have an issue planning a date here and there, more often than not, women value and appreciate the effort it takes to come up with a brilliant evening for the both of you. Especially in the beginning.
“When a man takes control, it lets the woman know that he is interested and is putting effort into starting a relationship,” says matchmaker and dating expert Sarah Patt. “Also as much as women like to eliminate gender roles, it still makes you feel good to know that you’re being pursued.”
So when should you go into a date with a game plan? Sorry guys, but Patt says 100 percent of the time: “Women like men who are decisive and take charge. It’s always good to have a plan when it comes to dating – even just a general idea,” she continues. “Everyone hates ‘I don’t know. What do you want to do?’ Be creative!”
If you want some extra help to get you brainstorming, follow these based on what your end goal is:
It’s the date when you finally want to have sex with her.
Forget the third date rule and go by your gut. If she’s someone you could see yourself getting serious with, and you’re ready to take it to the sexual level, Patt says bringing in the romance – without being over-zealous – is key. “Create an intimate dinner at home with champagne or good wine, and make the scene comfortable and calm,” she says. “Whatever you do, make sure it’s a desired and relaxed environment for both of you so you are mentally and physically in the mood.”
You want to have the DTR talk.
Ready to define the relationship? Awesome. Have this conversation in bed, Patt says. “When you want to talk about this, it doesn’t have to be a formal date – instead it should be in the moment,” she says. “Whether you’re having coffee on a Sunday morning or laying in bed talking, the more organic it feels, the more intimate it will be.”
Studies (Denes, 2012) suggest that revealing positive feelings for one’s partner after intimacy is associated with increased trust, relationship satisfaction, and closeness. So you’ll probably get a better response when you’re both physically and emotionally naked.
You want to ask her to meet your family.
Now you’ve been seeing each other for a long time and you’re ready for her to meet some of the most important people in your life. When you’re planning a date to meet your mom and dad, or siblings, you want to make sure the environment for all is comfortable and easy. “Let her know your family is coming into town or you’re visiting them, and you want her to join you. It can be a breakfast, a dinner or going to an event all together – just make sure there is time for everyone to talk and get to know each other,” she says.
You want to say “I love you” for the first time.
While Patt says this should happen organically and in the moment, it’s more important to note where you shouldn’t say those three words for the first time. “Steer clear of saying it during or after any activities in the bedroom to avoid raising any red flags for her,” she says. “Remember, most women tend to overthink it!” Meaning, if it comes out in the heat of the moment, she may ask some uncomfortable questions…
You want to ask her to move in with you.
If you’re ready for her to be your roommate she likely already has a few things at your apartment. When she’s coming over after work, cook – or order takeout – and place a key to your place next to her dinner plate. When you sit down to eat and she sees it, Patt says to let her know that whenever she’s ready, so are you.