If Humans Copied Animal Mating Rituals This Is What It Would Look Like
“You and me, baby, ain’t nothing but mammals.”
As chat-up lines go, it’s not the most sophisticated, but when it comes to our never-ending appetite for advice on mastering the art of seduction, it gave us an idea. What if human beings really did go to the animal kingdom for handy hints and tips on wooing? What would it look like if humans were to ditch the pick-up artists and never-ending mind games? What would happen if we simply do it like they do on the Discovery Channel?
Well, the above.
Yeah, turns out we just look weird. So, while there may not be any dating advice of any real use in here, there are a few things the animal kingdom has absolutely nailed.
Macaques: Gifts flatter.
Angler Fish: In the end, love = loyalty.
Galapagos Tortoise: Get passionate.
Red-sided Garter Snake: Be first.
Giraffes: Wind yer neck in.
Flatworms: It’s not all a dick competition.
Red velvet mite: A man that can dance is a man that can land a date.
Just don’t *actually* take any of freakiness into the bedroom.