Women Find Men Less Attractive After Seeing Their Social Channels. Here’s How To Fix That
You’re thinking, “I’ve never posted a Candy Crush update, of course my Facebook’s not scaring off women!” Yet research threatens otherwise. Dating platform The Inner Circle found that 42% of female daters found men less attractive after seeing their social channels. “We live in a time where you’re one Google away from someone being seriously put off you,” admits dating coach Hayley Quinn. “Lots of dating apps integrate directly with your social media, so you have to create a feed that you can be proud of.” And that means doing more than avoiding Game of Thrones spoilers.
Rule 1 – Know the two profile goals
“The first two things women think about when looking at profiles are, ‘Do I trust them?’ and ‘Do I want to spend time with them?’” says dating expert James Preece. Not, “Did he manage to get compensation from Network Rail after that 11-minute delay he tweeted seven times about?” “They’re looking for signs you are ambitious and ready for a relationship, so stay clear of drunken shots, childish comments and constantly liking or commenting on other women’s posts, which can make someone feel like they aren’t important.”
Rule 2 – Set ex pics to ‘Friends only’
Unless your last break-up was messy, Preece believes there’s no need to do a Calvin Harris and embark on a mass cull of all evidence. But he does advise making photos visible to ‘Friends only’ in Facebook. “Interested parties won’t see every little detail too early on then,” he adds, “but leave a few visible – it makes you look more of a catch when they see someone liked you. It validates you are a potential partner.” The exception, says matchmaker Caroline Brealey, is the soppy happy-couple shots. “Group shots of you, your ex and friends on a night out? Fine. You and your ex kissing with a sunset backdrop with #inlove #romantic #perfect? Needs to go.”
Rule 3 – Say what you meme
The great thing about social media is its ability to let us complain to someone without having to do that terribly un-British and awkward thing of, you know, actually complaining to someone. The downside is that nobody likes a whinger. “Everyone is magnetised to people who make lemonade instead of griping about the lemons,” confirms Quinn. But what about when your Pret wrap really was substandard? “Complain – but do it with a sense of humour,” recommends Preece. “Joke about your situation and don’t be afraid to use photos, emoticons or GIFs to soften the blow.”
Rule 4 – Treat your social headshot like a professional headshot
The days of getting away with a shoddy profile picture ended with the Mayfair filter – about four years ago. Now the danger is going too far with photo-editing. “Avoid grumpy-looking selfies or anything too different if you want to get noticed for the right reasons,” explains Preece. “Much like online dating, you need to have the very best possible main photo.” If you’re aiming slick with your pic, Quinn believes it’s crucial to apply to the same professionalism to your grammar. “There are several things that can be immediately off-putting – definitely spelling and grammar errors. Incorrectly using ‘You’re’ not ‘your’, for example, gives an impression of being careless.”
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Rule 5 – Don’t be too selfie-centred
Next time you go to point – and post – your phone in your own direction, think: mystery. “Sweaty drunken photos, too many selfies that make you look vain and immature, topless pics and lots of them – because no one seems to put up one naked pic, they always put up loads. It’s just… embarrassing. Leave a bit of mystery,” advises Brealey.
Rule 6 – Avoid ‘Like Storms’
What better way to let someone know, by stealth, that you’re into them than by liking every single picture they’ve ever posted. Subtle, huh! Well, WOAH THERE, urges Quinn. “Steer clear of ‘Like Storms’ or ‘Deep Liking’ where you trawl through the woman you like’s feed and like everything you see. Curb that enthusiasm – at least until you’ve hung out in real life.”