Five Things She’s Telling Her Friends About Your Performance In Bed
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If you’ve ever felt like your girlfriend’s friends know too much about your relationship, you’re right. And that’s because when it comes to sex talk, it’s a group activity for women. And we get into it. Deep.
Partly because as much as you might think that you talk enough about sex as a couple, you probably don’t. According to studies by Canadian researcher E. Sandra Byers, rates of self-disclosure about sexual dislikes were particularly low. According to her data, the average adult knows only about a fourth of the things his or her partner finds sexually distasteful. The odds are that you don’t actually know very much about what turns your partner on – and that you know even less about what turns them off.
So, not only do we talk to our girlfriends in gritty detail in order to compare and sense-check our likes and dislikes (and yours), but research from Penn State found that women reported talking more about sex and sex-related topics with their best friend than men did. And they found that we’re very, very comfortable with it.
So be prepared to be dissected in front of the jury; it’s our way of getting an objective point of view and second (and third and fourth) opinion on things. Is it normal for you to want a finger in the bum, Kanye-style? To have a partner that can’t come from oral sex? To only come from oral sex?
Here’s the short list of what your girlfriend is telling her friends about your sex life, and why.
1. How Beautiful (Or Not) Your Penis Is
Yup, from size, taste and smell, to circumcision, that birthmark that she had to double check was not something else and the slight curve to the right that ever so gently stabs her cervix every time you pump, these details are public record. No detail is too gross or too personal to spill.
Why? You’ve been comparing penis size since you were cavemen. And we’ve been talking about it for exactly the same length of time. Biologically speaking, it’s a marker of masculinity according to many studies, and as such, is one of the first things women compare notes on. The good news is, if she’s gushing about it, it’s usually because it’s wonderfully stunning and magical. That, or she’s looking for advice. We tend to build preferences based off our past experiences, and sometimes need a little encouragement and support when (literally) facing something different. Either way both are good for you, so don’t sweat it.
RELATED: How Do You Measure Up Down There? It’s Time To Look At The Facts
2. Your Sex Style & Stamina
Just as important if not more so is the report on the actual sex that’s being had. From what positions and how many, to that out-of-body high you get when you’re with someone new (oxytocin) – we go through just about every detail there is about that first time.
Why? Because sexual attraction and chemistry is critical in the initial stages of a relationship – and is so real that it’s actually regulated by hormones called neutrophins, according to Italian research from the University of Pisa. This euphoria is a huge part of how women gauge the chemistry and whether or not you’re the right fit, literally and figuratively. It’s about much more than just good dirty talk; we’re assessing the physical connection. Are you a bit freaky and adventurous? Assertive but not aggressive? An initiator? Just like scientists have found the way you dance can reveal information about your personality, it doesn’t seem so far fetched to believe the same could be true about the way you have sex (though there is not much research on the idea yet). Analysing your sex style in comparison to others’ (ours or our friends) is all up for grabs, conversation wise.