How To Navigate The Secret World Of Casual Encounters
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Over the past 10 years, hookup culture has definitely shifted. Where once, sexual hookups were primarily for older singles, gay men and people on the margins of the dating world, digital options and apps like Tinder and Bumble have mainstreamed hookups for people of all ages, genders and sexualities.
But Tinder’s popularity explosion means it’s taken more seriously as a serious dating app than a hookup app these days, so you might be wondering where to head if hookups are all you have in mind. Is it smarter to focus on the most popular apps, or should you trade quantity for quality and sign up for a site with fewer users — but ones who are more likely to fit what you’re looking for? Then there are questions like what a given site’s gender ratio is like, or how expensive it is to be a member …
You’d think, with the multitude of online dating sites and apps out there, finding and planning a casual sexual encounter would be easier than ever — but with so many people on these sites and apps, and thus so many options to choose from, it can actually feel more overwhelming than ever to figure out what to do.
That’s why we’ve laid out a list of the top six best hook up sites to find a casual encounter on:
Like many of the Friend Finder Network sites, XMatch provides a variety of ways to find matches, interact, and arrange for some mutually-satisfying sexual activity. Although you can set filters on what you do and don’t see, when it comes to arranging sexual encounters you’ll probably want to leave them off, allowing you to enter a site that is filled with suggestive images, videos, and pointblank, members. The “members near me” option is a convenient way to search for others you could potentially arrange casual sex with or you can use the advanced search feature to find members with the physical traits you desire most. Communicate through a variety of methods including broadcasting, IMing, private messaging, hotlist, or become fans of other members. The site conveniently lets you know when other members are confirmed, meaning you can be assured you’re looking at real profiles. The site is very sexual in nature and attracts a high volume of members looking for casual sex encounters.
Learn more at XMatch.com – starting at around £22.99 per month
Read our full XMatch.com review
Adult Friend Finder
The flagship of all the Friend Finder Network sites, Adult Friend Finder is a mature dating site designed to help you hook up, find sex, or meet someone special. The site has all the bells and whistles of the Friend Finder Network sites and like the others offers a non-censored version to allow you to see all the closeups and naughty videos you desire. Find others by browsing through hundreds of live member webcams or chat rooms, or search with filters such as Who’s Online, Members Near Me, and more. This isn’t a site where members are shy, so be prepared to see porn-style photos, videos, and more. With such an array of sexually suggestive activity happening on the site at any given time, Adult Friend Finder makes it easy to get a sexual conversation started without much thought involved. With a large member base and plenty of live action activity it’s an ideal site to quickly and painlessly find others for casual sex encounters.
Learn more at AdultFriendFinder.com — starting at £12.99 per month
Read our full AdultFriendFinder.com review
The mission of Passion.com is to help you hook up with nearby local singles, and the site features allow for just that. This is a site dedicated to those who consider themselves to be more sultry and seductive, which is easily observable by the type of profile pictures uploaded and the sexual intensity of members. Everything is out in the open here. You can easily view members near you from the homepage or do an advanced search of members with the physical traits you desire that are within a certain radius of your post code. The site caters to those looking for men, women, couples (2 women, man and woman, and/or 2 men), and TS/TV/TG. If you’re feeling gutsy, you can live broadcast what type of experiences and who you are looking for or just groups of those looking for similar experiences. To get the most out of the site and set yourself up for casual sex encounters, edit your Cupid Preferences, which will ensure you see only the individuals within the vicinity and with the type of preferences and attitude you are looking to meet.
Learn more at Passion.com — starting at £22.99 per month
Read our full Passion.com review
Another Friend Finder Network site, Friend Finder X claims to be the world’s largest casual singles site, which makes it rather fitting as a go-to site to arrange casual encounters. The site has a massive member base and is a notch down on the sexually-focused spectrum than sister site XMatch. Without applying any filters you’ll still see sexually suggestive, porn-style profile pictures and get access to all the visually stimulating perks such as live model chats, live model webcams, and adult videos. The home screen has a Facebook-style newsfeed of what’s happening on the site at any given time, but additionally let’s you sort your newsfeed to show global activity, activity of members you have as friends or have hotlisted, or activity of members near you. The site is ideal to experiment with the profile interest that serves you best with dozens of areas to complete or leave blank including a photos section, video section, long Q&A section, and blog section. The site is setup for casual sex in nature and has no shortage of media or members to entertain sexual fantasies.
Learn more at FriendFinderX.com — starting at £7.99 per month
Read our full FriendFinderX review
Get It ON
Get It On is basically a large classified database featuring other horny members looking to hook up. Unlike other sites, the site does try to match you with members with whom you are sexually compatible. Upon signup, users complete a short multiple choice questionnaire, which tells the site which sexual activities you are interested in, have tried, or absolutely need in a match. When viewing any member profile you’ll see your level of sexual compatability with that member, displayed as a percentage. The fact that the questionnaire is mandatory makes Get It On a no-brainer site to visit in order to find casual hook ups, considering the site is already weeding out those members who you aren’t compatible with and showing you only the ones with which you share some sexual chemistry. To ensure the site is always of use, you can set multiple geographical locations, such as your residing location and travel location. Members communicate and show interest by hotlisting other members, sending private emails, or sending flirts, making it easy to get the conversation going by the method of your choice. The hook up site is complete with various search features, live webcams and videos, and the ability to see who viewed your profile.
Learn more at GetItON.com — Starting at £4.99 per month
Read our full GetItOn review
If you’re more enticed by visuals, iHookup has you covered. The site is very video-dominant featuring an R-Rated section of explicit videos as well as links to other video streaming sites. Members can communicate by private messaging or live video chatting. Additionally you can search for members or play a hot or not style swiping game, and the site conveniently saves a running list of all members you have looked at previously. If someone strikes your interest, easily add them to your fave list, allowing you to keep a saved list of members you like. The site also allows you to see who has viewed your profile, providing an easy way to gain access into who has found you interesting but might not have been bold enough to initiate the conversation (of course allowing you if desired). On any profile you can show interest by clicking the heart icon, which brings up a selection of canned messages to send such as We Should Chat, Call Me, and You are Hot.
Learn more at iHookup.com – starting at around £22.99 per month â
Read our full iHookup.com review
What Is a “Casual Encounter,” Exactly?
A “casual encounter” is a term for a sexual hookup with no expectations of romance or strings attached — just two people meeting up to pleasure each other sexually and then go their separate ways.
Unlike a date, you don’t need to do much (if any) preparation; and you don’t need to follow up afterwards. That doesn’t mean that you can’t or shouldn’t, necessarily, just that the same expectations aren’t there.
How Do You Know Someone Wants a “Casual Encounter”?
One of the reasons sites like XMatch or AdultFriendFinder exist is because it can be incredibly hard to find a willing casual encounter partner on traditional dating sites and apps.
If you’re looking for a no-strings attached quickie and the other person is looking for a romantic first date or a long-term relationship, you’ll only be wasting your time. Creating sites where everyone is roughly on the same page about their expectations means no one is shocked when the other person suggests a hookup.
Of course, just because you’re messaging someone on a hookup-focused site or app doesn’t guarantee they’ll want to have a casual encounter with you, but the odds that they will are probably much higher if they’re open to the concept of casual sex to begin with.
Outside of specially hookup-focused options, you really can’t know if someone is down for that unless you ask — and if you bring it up too early on in the conversation, you’re likely to get ignored, unmatched, blocked or the like by most people.
How to Find Dates for “Casual Encounters”
On hookup sites, however, you can be a little more lax in your approach, and instead of dancing around what you really want — in this case, sex — you can pretty much express yourself upfront and directly, depending on the person you’re talking to and the site you are on. Being confident about who you are and what you want can be a serious turn-on, as it displays confidence and self-pride. It shows you’re not leading anyone on, and you’re secure enough in your masculinity to be blunt, rather than dishonest and/or indirect.
But it’s best to do so within reason; if you’re one of those men who prefer the no-holds-barred approach and look to make the first message they send as vulgar and direct as what’s on their mind, you might find yourself creeping out even other people on a more casual encounter-friendly site. For some people looking for a similar no-strings-attached encounter, this method may work, but for others — even others who may be interested in the same casual encounter — this method will only deter them.
Ultimately, identifying who will take kindly to the blunt, straight-to-the-point method is a difficult thing to pin down. If you want to stay on the safe side, you’ll wrap your message with some niceties, such as compliment or commenting on something in the other person’s profile. Of course, you can still make these initial messages flirtatious and suggestive in nature, but doing so with a little common courtesy probably won’t hurt.
After the other person responds to your message — and they may not; if they don’t, take it in stride and move on to the next conversation rather than getting angry — you can truly start an online hookup interaction. That’s where you’ll chat with the other person about their sexual interests, and try to determine whether you’re both up for some fun together. You should probably wait until the conversation’s proceeded more than a few messages apiece before trying to set something up in real life, though — particularly if you’re a guy messaging women, since they may be more cautious to meet men for sex than gay men.
Still, if you’re the type of person who enjoys sexting, this could be your time to shine. Letting the conversation naturally progress towards sexual topics is a must, here — if the person you’re talking to doesn’t respond or seems hesitant, don’t force it.
But if you’re both on board for a little raunchy discussion, you can use the conversation as a trial run for a potential real-life hookup later; getting to know each other’s turn-ons and fantasies on the app before you try them out in real life. You could, for instance, frame your sexting as a description of what your first meeting would go like, saying things like, “I can’t wait to X” or “When we meet up I’m going to Y” or “What’s the first thing you’d want me to do to you?” and so forth.
If it progresses to the level of sexting, that might be all you were really looking for — or it might be the perfect time to suggest taking that hookup from a hypothetical to a reality. And if so, congrats!
But if you’re actively online looking for casual encounters or a casual relationship, but struggling to have success, it could be down to your interactions themselves — or it could be that your profile isn’t doing a good enough job of selling your merits just yet.
Setting Up the Perfect Profile to Find Casual Encounters
Many people do not like setting up their own online dating profiles, and that’s often because they’re not sure how to do it right. To set up a profile for casual encounters, you’ll want to be a little more honest than if you were setting up a profile to find a wife. While you may think being secretive and playing the hard to get (to know) card works in your favour, it actually backfires when it comes to arranging sexual situations. A potential partner needs to feel safe first and foremost, before any sexytime talk comes up, and your profile is the area to express just that.
Pictures matter — it’s just a fact. You’ll want to have a variety of pictures that show off who you are inside and, perhaps more importantly in this instance, outside of the bedroom. A single photo profile just won’t cut it when casual sex is the end game, so make sure you get a few to post. The best profiles contain the recent photo you have where you think you look the best, photos with friends to show you are social, and photos showing you enjoying any noteworthy hobbies or interest that you have.
Your best picture should be one where you look attractive and are showing off your best features, but in general trying too hard to look sexy and seductive just comes off as creepy to women, so be sure to stay on the safe, masculine side of that line. And no, no nude photos are not necessary. You want to leave her intrigued and guessing about some things. Overall you want your photos to express that you are a normal, well-rounded human being, and one who can be trusted for any type of casual sex. Remember the photo section of your profile is likely the area she’ll look first, and the area she’ll screenshot and share with friends.
Next comes the profile information. This is where you can be a little more blunt, if desired. It’s perfectly acceptable to straight out say you are interested in casual sex or “nothing too serious” – don’t feel ashamed about going after what you want. Doing so is honest and actually helps your chances of casual sex success as it will help filter out the girls who aren’t interested in the same.
Profile length also confuses most people. Remember your profile is a summary of who you are — meaning you don’t need to get into extreme detail about pretty much anything. The more detail you give, the less she has to learn and discover about you, which can be a turn-off. The best profiles keep bio information simple and to the point, but weave in a little wit and charm. Feel free to allude to sexual fantasies and desires, but do so with some class if you want responses online. Of course if there is something you really think women should know before potentially hooking up with you, feel free to include that as well. Once again, honesty is the goal — and will be rewarded with optimal casual sex results.
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