Should You Bring More Toys Into The Bedroom? We Investigate
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This month, I received several packages from the most reputable sex toy companies around the world. This was so I could recommend the best of the best for both you and your partner on behalf of AskMen, which I had absolutely no qualms about doing. The following is my sex toy story.
Prior to this month of sexual enlightenment, I had never used a sex toy. Nor did I have the desire to. To me, they were a threat — a rubber substitute to my package (a classic battle of man vs. machine). I felt as though these ergonomic sex-machines would one day replace the man, rendering him sexually redundant; where he would be eternally banished to a world of solo masturbation, never able to procreate.
However, it seems as though men are slowly beginning to embrace the idea of bringing products into the bedroom without feeling threatened, as detailed by a study by Trojan condoms. Nearly half (44%) of the men surveyed reported incorporating a sex toy in their lives; 10% having done so in the past month, 14% in the past year, and 20% using one over a year ago. Men who had more recently dabbled in sex toy usage noticed some serious benefits as well, reporting higher scores in sexual function, intercourse satisfaction, orgasmic function, and sexual desire. After reading this, it became clear that I was missing out.
Testing Out The Sex Toys
I would unwrap each delivery with the enthusiasm of a child on Christmas. After inquisitively inspecting each toy, I would read the instructions for proper usage. Then I would turn on each device and watch them work on their own. I’d smirk while doing so; the whole idea was both ridiculous and funny to me. This was a new experience that I still wasn’t entirely comfortable with.
My next mission was to find a willing sexual partner for the experiment. Luckily I had met someone through a friend a few weeks prior with whom I had established a sexual relationship. She had a birthday coming up, and all she wanted from me was some no-strings-attached birthday sex, to which I immediately complied. It was her party, and we’d have sex if she wanted to, if you will. I told her about my sex toy experiment and asked if she’d be interested in testing out some products with me. Guess what? She said yes.
While out for her birthday, it didn’t take long for us to ditch the bar. After a few hours, we were itching to peel off each other’s clothes and have some fun, so we headed home — and I had my backpack of toys in hand.
Once we got to her place, I revealed my newly acquired collection of toys. My heart pounded as I anticipated her reaction. She knew I’d brought them, but had no idea which products I’d received. The alcohol certainly helped ease my anxiety, but I was still nervous.
JimmyJane Form 2
To my surprise, she excitedly inspected the bag, turning a few of the toys on and off. After the inspection, she settled on the JimmyJane Form 2. She thought it was cute — and it actually is. It resembles a cartoonish bunny head (or molar — but that’s far less sexy). Not intimidating at all. We were off to a good start. I grabbed the palm-sized device and used it as instructed. The tiny figurine struck her loins like a jackhammer. Within minutes, I noticed her legs tense up — her body immediately reacted as I increased its vibration. The toy was relatively quiet. She was not. As we continued, I became more and more comfortable, but it was incremental.
$105.99 at Amazon.com
Before long, she pulled me in close and was ready for the real thing. But I wasn’t done toying around just yet. I was really turned on. So much so that I wanted to try another. (We later tested out the Form 2 in the shower as well, which I strongly recommend).
Stronic Drei by Funfactory
Next, I pulled out the Stronic Drei by Fun Factory. Now this toy is no joke. It both looks and acts like a penis, only it’s turquoise and ribbed for her pleasure. This was the most intimidating toy of the bunch because, well, the rubber penis was large. She was reluctant to try this one out as well. But after a little teasing, we decided to go for it. Its Drive technology (designed to behave like a thrusting penis for solo use) was a little too much to handle. We actually laughed as the thrusting effect had taken complete control of my arm. It kicked like a damn mule. After about 45 seconds, we tossed this toy aside. The rubber penis continued to bounce on the hardwood floor, which had us laughing until we got intimate again about 10 minutes later.
$299.00 at Amazon.com
JimmyJane Hello Touch
The next morning, we were ready to go again (though both mildly hungover). This time, I decided on JimmyJane’s Hello Touch — a toy that uses a wristband and battery-operated finger pads to transform your fingers into vibrators. As soon as I strapped it on, I felt like a superhero. Peter Parker became Spider-Man.
The toy was effective, but not as amazing as the Form 2. I liked the fact that it relied on my stroking patterns as much as I did on its vibration. She liked it for its versatility — I was able to stimulate multiple erogenous zones simultaneously. She would later strap the toy on her wrist and touch me with her vibrating fingertips. I was uncomfortable with it at first because I’ve never used a sex toy for my own pleasure. The sensation was surprising and made me jump, but after a few scintillating seconds, I relaxed and let her do her thing. This was a first for me. I could add another checkmark on my to-do list, along with a note: “Vibrating testicular play: Incredible. Do so again. Soon.”
$57.99 at Amazon.com
A few days later, I received three bottles of Promescent, an FDA-approved, over-the-counter spray that claims to rid men of premature ejaculation — something I don’t personally suffer from, but is scarily common. One in three men experience PE at some point in their lives.
$66.99 at Amazon.com
I did know a friend who — through conversations about sex with his girlfriend — mentioned that he would like to last longer during intercourse. I could tell it was bumming him out, so I figured I’d give him a bottle and have him report back. In the meantime, I would test the product out through one of my favorite pastimes: masturbation.
My first and main concern was: Will it numb my wiener? Will I be able to feel anything? Turns out that it numbs nothing and yes, you feel everything. Since I tend to go for a while (even while masturbating), I hadn’t noticed much of a difference. But my friend definitely did; he said it added a good five minutes to his game. Naturally, I gave him the other samples. His girlfriend was thrilled.
Moodsign Device + Cards
Drawing towards the end of my sexual journey, I figured I’d have some fun with a sex game. Moodsign was the only game-type product I had been sent so I decided to give it a shot. Moodsign claims to promote communication between partners using a card game (containing activities stretching from chore coupons, to foot jobs) and their token Moodsign device, a battery-operated gadget used to signify one’s sexual thirst. Basically, the device has two sticks and you raise your stick up to indicate to your partner that you’re in the mood. Instead of, you know, talking or initiating. Watch their demonstration videos to get the full effect.
$29.99 at Themoodsign.com
I’ll be honest: We never used the Moodsign device. We read the cards for fun and we had few chuckles based on what they asked us to do (i.e. watch your partner masturbate), but that was about it. To me, the device actually promotes the opposite of communication, using non-verbal cues to express your urge for intercourse. Take your cues from her. Observe her signals — she’ll tell you if and when she’s in the mood, whether it’s with words or actions. Sex is better when it’s spontaneous.
Call me old school, but I still believe verbal communication is the most effective tool for sexual expression. Though, admittedly, it’s not something I prioritized before this experience. I was always too worried about getting shot down. I’ve never been one for vanilla sex, yet I have found it difficult to communicate what I like to a partner in fear that she’ll laugh at me or think I’m some sexual deviant. However, as I began forming a friendly relationship with my vibrating pals, I grew more and more comfortable with communicating what I want. I started to realize that women appreciate when you trust them with these kinds of personal details. Sex toys were slowly becoming my entry-level comfort quiz to other sexual acts, although I admit we didn’t do anything too kinky.
What I’ve Learned (And Wish I’d Known Prior)
During this eye- (and leg-)opening experience, I learned a lot. Certainly much more than I thought I would. I recommend the inclusion of sex toys to every man, particularly those looking to learn more about the female orgasm. During this experience, I can admit I became much more comfortable and confident sexually. Through her orgasms and affirmations, it seems as though sex toys played an essential role in my evolution from eager boy to experienced man in the sack. (I’m in my 20s, so that sentiment isn’t nearly as pathetic as it sounds).
I eventually became a lot more comfortable with the idea of sex toys, realizing that they are less of a replacement and more of a tag-team partner during intercourse. As with most things, intimidation is just a shadowy front that can be abolished once tackled head-on. Sure, she may use some of these toys while you aren’t around, but you watch porn when she isn’t around, right? And you aren’t giving that up. At the end of the day, it’s all about compromise.
Throughout the experience, I’ve learned some best practices as well. For instance, I recommend you don’t waste your money on vibrating cock rings. They feel weird, rarely hit her sweet spot and have more control over your penis than you want them to. What they did do, however, was keep me erect while I maneuvered and switched positions, which is a situation where it’s easy to lose some blood flow. If this is an issue for you as well, I advise you skip on the vibration feature and grab a regular cock ring.
Durex Orgasmic Lube
I also recommend applying a generous amount of lube before playing with your toys. Based on our experiences, I recommend Durex’s “orgasmic” lube, which is formulated to increase sensitivity and intensity of sensation — leading to more powerful orgasms.
$38.99 at Amazon.com
Have fun, gentlemen — and heed my experience: Start toying around!
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