Let’s turn up the heat
You don’t need to dig out your dog-eared copy of the Kama Sutra to add a little spice to your sex life. And you certainly don’t need to be Cirque-du-Soleil flexible to reap the benefits of a few new variations. Here are 11 twists on classic coupling.
Straddle him with his legs together. “Some women love being on top so they can feel seductive,” says Debby Herbenick, PhD, a sexual health educator at the Kinsey Institute and author of Because It Feels Good.
Bonus benefit: You can rub your breasts on top of him.
When you’re on top, you get G-spot stimulation, plus you have more control of the rhythm and depth of penetration (deeper penetration also ups the odds of a vaginal orgasm—here are 5 more ways to get there). But in this position, with his hands guiding your hips, you can both drive the bus.
Bonus benefit: “It can be difficult for men to keep strong erections when the woman is on top,” says Herbenick, “but because his legs are up, he has more leverage and can give stimulation to himself when he needs it.”
You’ll feel relaxed and ultraconnected in this loving cocoon, though it can be a bit tricky to get into. Raise your top leg and take it slow. “When men have trouble getting or staying inside you, they think they’re too small,” cautions Herbenick. So take your time and help guide him.
Bonus benefit: It’s great if you’re pregnant or worried about morning breath.
Start out supporting yourselves on your arms, then take turns: When one person leans back, the other does more work.
Bonus benefit: With this setup, women can get the kind of stimulation they want. “Raise your hips and control the movement,” says Herbenick. “Go deeper or more shallow. Feel your front, back, or side walls. Try thrusting or grinding.”
Starting in the missionary position, he turns his body at a 45-degree angle. “The vagina is not nerve rich,” says Herbenick. “Its purpose is to birth a baby, so you don’t really want too many nerves there.” But you may experience more clitoral stimulation and sensation on the side of the vaginal walls, which can feel good to some women, she says.
Bonus benefit: Try this position without penetration if you have pain or dryness issues—he will enjoy the friction of being between your legs. (You don’t have to just put up with dryness. Here’s help.)
On his lap—facing away
He sits on the edge of the bed while you, with your back to him, lower yourself down. You’ll get more leverage if your feet can touch the floor. “You’ll both have free hands to stimulate each other,” says Herbenick. “This position feels fun and young and sexy.”
Bonus benefit: He’s perfectly positioned to hit your G-spot and reach around to help you orgasm.
Standing rear entry
This position allows for deep penetration up to the cervix, says Herbenick.
Bonus benefit: You don’t need a bed—or a bedroom.
Kneeling, he straddles your left leg while you bend your right leg next to his body. You’ll both feel deep penetration, plus he can free up his hands to caress and stimulate you. Both partners will find this position relaxing, and for women, more relaxation means better, easier orgasms.
Bonus benefit: Men get tired during sex, especially in missionary position, says Herbenick. “Sometimes endurance issues are for cardiovascular reasons and sometimes men can’t last because they can’t support themselves on their forearms and hands. In this position, he can relax and last longer.”
Supported doggy style
Lie down with a pillow or two under your stomach so he can enter you from behind. With the added support, your lower back won’t hurt.
Bonus benefit: He’ll feel bigger (good for him), and the fit will be tighter (good for you).
On his lap—facing each other
He sits on the edge of the bed or chair while you, facing him, climb on top. “Seated positions are great for G-spot and clitoral contact,” says Herbenick.” Use your legs and pelvis to grind more than thrust so you can get clitoral stimulation as well.”
Bonus benefit: Face-to-face sex allows for eye contact and whispering to each other, which is important for women, notes Herbenick.
Knees to chest
When you spread your legs out or back you shorten the vaginal distance, which can be pleasurable but not necessarily lead to climax, says Herbenick. “Some things are fun but not orgasmic,” she adds. If you have tight hip flexors or hamstrings, go easy. And if dryness is an issue, try a water-based lubricant.
Bonus benefit: “Men have trouble having orgasms as they get older,” says Herbenick. He can climax more quickly in this position, which allows him to thrust powerfully.