I have tried to move on from him (again) but I hate how much I fancy him and how I can’t stop thinking about him!
I started seeing a man two years ago and it was amazing. He was funny, confident, a gentleman and we had some of the best sex of my life.
It slowly fizzled out and, as time went on, I met someone else (my now ex-boyfriend). That relationship didn’t last long for various reasons and during the entire time we were together, I still found myself thinking about the other man.
He occasionally got in touch, but I ignored his messages until I became single again. Inevitably, we started seeing each other again, yet he was completely different to the person I’d dated before.
He was cold and it was obvious he didn’t care about anything I had to say. He was uninterested in asking any questions about me and my life and just used me for sex. I have tried to move on from him (again) but I hate how much I fancy him and how I can’t stop thinking about him!
I keep letting him use me and I’d end up feeling awful the next day. I’ve also tried meeting new men, but there’s never any spark and no one is nearly as impressive as him in bed.
I want to get over him and stop comparing everyone to the person he was two years ago, but I don’t know how.
The first thing you have to do is stop seeing him and stop allowing yourself to be used. He knows it’s all on a plate and if he wants sex and calls you up, you won’t refuse. You need to find your self-esteem and use it to give you the strength to cut him out of your life.
I don’t think he’s going to change or perhaps he will when he meets someone who’s ‘the one’, but from what you’ve said, you’re just sex to him.
But don’t beat yourself up about it – we’re all tempted by a bad boy and most of us have gone out with someone we know we should leave well alone!
Look, you can get over it. Yes, sex might be great, but nothing else is, and there’s no way you’d trust him in a relationship.
That guy you met two years ago was a lie – he was only acting like that to lure you in. The guy you’re seeing now is the real person. Muster all your self-control and willpower and give yourself the chance to get to know someone else properly. Right now, you’re just seeing every other guy as not as good.
Trust me, when he realises you’re not interested in him, he’ll do everything to get you back in bed because his ego will have taken a knock. Don’t fall for it! You can meet someone else to have great sex with and a great emotional connection too.
More of our agony aunt Coleen Nolan’s advice on your sex, family, health and relationship problems