I have a wonderful boyfriend and we’ve been thinking of getting married.
The trouble is, just recently my first love has come back into my life. He broke my heart two years ago but now he’s really sincere about trying again.
He owns his own business and recently came clean about certain things he kept from me while we were together. I can’t talk to my family and friends about this because they’re all completely biased.
But if I don’t act on these feelings, I may regret it for the rest of my life.
Don’t be swept away by the powerful romance of “first love”.
You could be throwing away a wonderful future with your new man. Understand just how powerful this “first love” phenomenon is, before you make any life-changing decision.
He is a unique figure from your past who burns brighter than any old flame. To you, he’s not just a warm memory, he reminds you of what it was like to be young and excited about your early hopes and ideals.
Even the fact that he broke your heart gives him an extra dramatic frisson. But very few of us end up with our first loves. They just remain a distant rose-tinted memory.
You say that earlier he wasn’t completely honest with you, so how can you truly believe him now, given what’s at stake? You think your usual confidantes are biased. Yes, they are – because they’re thinking of you!
Please, please listen to those who love you and only want you to be happy. Your head has been turned but their view is objective and sensible.
I can’t say how your future will pan out either way. No one can. But the prospect of ditching your present happiness for a dodgy dream is just too dangerous. And there are others who’ll be hurt. Can you live with breaking your boyfriend’s heart? Look at it from his perspective, and that might help you decide what to do.
One of my best friends faced a similar dilemma. Her mum told her: “Never mind your first love, concentrate on the one who’ll be your last.” She stayed with her man, and they’re still happily married 35 years later. I think they were wise words.
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