I’ve been married for 34 years now. Two years ago, I found out my husband was having another affair – yes, another.
I basically became a spy and found out he was also sleeping with hookers at the same time.
Finally, he admitted that he’d been cheating on me for the past 33 years.
Honestly, the way I feel now is that I can’t stand myself any more and if I leave him, I will lose the life I’ve built up.
I don’t have anywhere to go, although I have money of my own. I just hate myself at the moment and don’t know where to turn.
Please stop hating yourself. Sadly, us women have a tendency to blame ourselves – don’t. Get angry with him for what he’s done.
He’s made a mockery of your marriage, not you. He failed, not you. You were a loving, faithful partner for 34 years.
I get that you feel stupid and humiliated, as well as devastated. I’m sure you’re thinking, “How could I not have known what he was up to?”
But, speaking as someone who’s been in your shoes, although not after such a lengthy marriage, those feelings will go and you’ll be able to focus on yourself.
I don’t know how old you are but whether you’re 60, 70 or 80, you still have a life to live and it’ll be a much better life without him in it. Enjoy spending all your money on yourself.
Have the confidence in yourself to take control of the situation. Even that first call to a solicitor will give you some strength and help you feel like you’re in control of your own destiny. You deserve better.
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