Cheaters beware – a new website is promising to blow the lid on casual affairs and sexy hook-ups.
Swipe Buster allows people to check to see if their other half (or boss, ex, neighbour or best mate) is active on dating apps such as Tinder.
So far, it’s only running in the US, but experts predict the technology will be hitting our shores soon. For a $ 5 fee – about £3.50 – users can search under the name, age, and location of anyone to see if their profile pops up.
Tinder has taken the online dating scene by storm since it launched in 2012. It’s been credited with more than 10 billion matches, but it’s also been accused of providing a dream platform for married cheaters.
Swipe Buster uses complex computer code to search dating profiles, and the anonymous creator claims his aim was to educate about the risks of sharing personal data.
Read more: Sex island website helps married daters sneak away from spouses
Last year, hackers made public the private information of more than 30m users of online-dating site Ashley Madison, a nightmare for cheaters.
But is it healthy to spy on your partner? And if you could find out if they were cheating for just a few pounds, would you? Or should you?
The New Day’s writers have their say.
Would I use the app? Hell, yes
Life is complicated and not all love cheats are evil.
There’s plenty of reasons why even the most well-meaning partner can find themselves swept along with being unfaithful.
Boredom, lust, excitement, flattery, middle-aged crisis, not wanting to leave the kids – even not wanting to hurt a partner they still respect but no longer love. The list is endless.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not excusing bad behaviour, I’m just saying the reasons behind cheating are not always cut and dried.
One thing is clear, though, information is the key. You can only move on and deal with the hurt of a betrayal if you know about it.
The worst love rats in my book are the ones who go on for years, quietly layering lies on top of lies.
On the surface, everything is fine. Any hint of suspicion is brushed off with a withering look, or worse, the suggestion that you must be losing your marbles for even thinking such a thing.
Meanwhile, on Tinder, Match.com and other dating sites, they are busy running a secret double life.
Read more: Six out of 10 women on cheating site admit to pining for sex with ex-lover
This isn’t a case of getting drunk at the office party and stupidly getting off with the flirty girl in accounts. This is playing with a partner’s emotions in the most cruel and cynical way.
And is it worth coughing up a few quid to spare yourself that horror? Hell yes…
If yours is the sort of rock-solid relationship where you finish each others sentences and barely spend a minute apart, then sites like Swipe Buster are not for you. Even if you are the patsy in the relationship, I bet you won’t want to know.
But for those that wake up in the middle of the night fighting the urge to lock themselves in the bathroom to spy into every text message on a partner’s phone, then it’s a Godsend.
Suspicion gnaws away at you. It destroys your confidence from the inside out and makes you paranoid. If you honestly suspect a partner of playing away, and you can’t get a straight answer out of them, then at least this will tell you once and for all in a quick, cheap and foolproof way. What you do with that information is your choice, but at least you are forewarned.
No, snooping isn’t healthy, but sometimes it’s necessary. And if it buys you a second chance of happiness, then it’s worth every penny.
It’s wrong to spy on the person you love
Before apps like Swipe Buster, suspicious wives went through their husband’s pockets for mysterious receipts, checked their credit card statements for unexplained purchases and rang the office when they claimed to be working late.
There’s nothing new about playing detective when love breaks down, although it’s true that Swipe Buster is cheaper, more efficient and higher tech than the traditional methods.
It won’t take long for dating apps like Tinder to invent a work around to protect their users, but in the meantime, I totally understand the app’s temptation.
The problem is that if things have got so bad you’ve resorted to spying on your other half, then it’s surely already over as a relationship.
Affairs don’t come out of nowhere – they find fertile ground in partnerships in which couples don’t communicate, rarely have sex and where the partners don’t even like each other much anymore.
That doesn’t mean they are not exquisitely painful for the injured party. But it takes two to tango, and if one partner strays, the other is rarely an entirely innocent victim.
Having said that, I have the utmost sympathy for anyone who has been betrayed by their partner and I understand why, if you suspected your husband or boyfriend of cheating, you would want evidence before confronting him.
But supposing Swipe Buster gives you the news you’ve dreaded – what exactly are you going to do with the information? Get angry, cry and demand they stop?
If he or she wants to be unfaithful, there are a myriad other ways they can do it. And if your partner loves you, and wants to be with you, wouldn’t it have been better never to know that in a weak, drunk or foolish moment, he looked for outside validation?
The worst scenario of all would be to have a faithful partner discover that you had been spying on them. A relationship which is based not on trust but on paranoid surveillance is no relationship at all.
Infidelity certainly crystallises everything that is wrong in a relationship, but is a symptom not a cause. And the fact that our society regards it as the most heinous betrayal possible doesn’t mean it is the only sin you can commit as a spouse or lover.
In my book, spying on the man or woman you claim to love comes a close second.