7 Steps Every Guy Should Take Before Attempting Backdoor Entry
So, you want to do it in the butt.
Congratulations on your quest to embark into uncharted territory. But before you start your journey, it’s wise to do your homework on the necessary prep work required for anal sex first timers and veterans alike.
No, you can’t just stick it in her butt and hope for the best. I mean, you could, but you’d probably get smacked. Don’t even try to pull that “wrong hole” move, either.
Doing it in the butt for the first time is a delicate process, but there are steps you can take to help ensure butt sex success. Here’s what the experts say about butthole prep for the best backdoor experience.
1. Have a pre-butt sex conversation
And not one that goes something like, “Hey, can I put it in your butt?” Mid romp. “For a lot of people, this is still a third rail that they don’t want to touch,” says relationship expert April Masini. “Have a conversation about it ahead of time, and not in the bedroom, or in bed, or undressed,” she says. “You don’t have to plan it with an alert on your iCal, but if you both know it’s on the agenda, and you’re both fine to try it, when it does come up during sex you’ll be more ready than if you don’t have the conversation first.”
2. Plan to use protection
What’s worse than an STD? An STD that takes up residence in your butthole. “If you’re dating and this type of sex comes up as ‘a thing’ that one or both of you want, chances are that one or both of you have done this before,” Masini says. “That exposes you to health risks, so use a condom.”
3. Practice with your fingers
A little butthole warm-up will definitely help things run more smoothly when you finally get to the main event. “The anus is a sensitive area, so it’s best to explore with your fingers before going all in,” says sex expert Vanessa Marin. “Try touching the tip of your finger to the anus, then slowly pushing it in about an inch or so.”
4. Lube it up
Lube and butt sex go together like peanut butter and jelly. “Use lots of lubrication,” says licensed psychologist and certified sex therapist Dr. Rachel Needle. “Unlike the vagina, the anus does not produce its own lubricant. The more lube you use, the more comfortable and enjoyable anal sex can be,” she says.
Antonia Hall, author of The Ultimate Guide to a Multi-Orgasmic Life, says to pay attention to the type of lube you’re using as well. “Silicon lube can work better than saline-based for anal, because it doesn’t break down as quickly,” she says.
5. Make her orgasm beforehand
A tense body makes for tough times when it comes to butt sex. Certified sex educator Anne Hodder suggests loosening things up by getting your lady off in advance. “I like to tell clients to have at least one orgasm before having anal sex,” she says. “Anal sex can be nerve-wracking and some of us have anxiety about our first times. With anxiety often comes tense muscles — and a tense anus! The more relaxed you can get the muscles around the anus and genitals, the more comfortable it will be to ease something inside.”
6. Give her a rim job
“Rimming, where your partner licks the area around your anus, can help relax the area and increase stimulation,” says Hodder. If the idea of doing this grosses you out, you might want to reconsider sticking your dick into someone’s butthole.
But in all seriousness, Hall suggests showering as part of your butt sex prep, which will likely help your rim job execution as well as your attempt at anal. “Take a warm shower to relax your body, and clean carefully in preparation,” she says.
7. Be prepared to abort and begin again
“As with any new type of sexual experience, things don’t always go as planned,” Masini says. “Just because it doesn’t work, or one person wants to stop, doesn’t mean it won’t go well the next time you give it a try. Every sex act has its timeline in your life and it’s important to be patient, open-minded, creative and flexible about how, when and if this is something you really want to do.”