I’m a guy in my early 30s and I feel irritable all of the time. I’m married with one three-year-old child and things are OK at home.
Things are fine at work, too, as I have a pretty good job. I don’t love it, but I earn decent money.
Recently, though, I’ve found myself snapping at people – and not just family and friends, but strangers, too.
I was on the train the other day and a girl sitting behind me pulled down the table and started tapping on her laptop.
I reacted way over the top, shouting: “Haven’t you noticed that your table is attached to the back of my seat?”
Then I moved across the aisle to another seat.
In fact, there was no reason to be angry about it. All this girl had done was pull the table down and put her laptop on it, as she’s entitled to do.
She actually laughed at me, which made me feel stupid. But I felt so angry that I worry what I’d have done if it had been a bloke sat behind me.
I probably would have taken a swing at him. It’s crazy, I’m like a bear with a sore head. Any ideas before I get into a fight with someone over nothing?
It sounds to me that while everything is ‘OK’ in your life, you’re not particularly happy and that’s why you feel stressed and angry at the world.
I think you’re right – the danger is you’ll lose control and end up hitting someone or being hit.
You need to work out what’s at the root of it. Is it your relationship or your job or both?
I’d recommend counselling and anger management, too, so you can equip yourself with coping strategies when you feel the red mist descending.
One thing you can do when you feel as if you’re about to lose control is just remove yourself from the situation. Move to a different train carriage or into another room.
Be aware of the warning signs. If you’re like a bear with a sore head all the time, it can’t be much fun for your wife and child either – it’s not a nice environment to live in.
I imagine your wife is treading on eggshells at the moment. Why not try to open up to her, too. She might be able to help. Don’t keep it simmering inside – it’s bound to blow up in a big way and you could end up doing something you regret.
More of our agony aunt Coleen Nolan’s advice on your sex, family, health and relationship problems