My husband and I were childhood friends and when we got together we were an ideal couple. Everyone who knew us thought so.
We really loved each other and had complete faith and trust in each other – we were 100% there.
However, after seven years of marriage, I’ve found my husband has become romantically attached to one of his colleagues, who is also a good friend.
They’ve been having a physical relationship, although now my husband has realised his mistake and wants us to stay together. However, I can’t find any solution to my pain.
The first thing you need to do is stop giving yourself a hard time and expecting to spring back to normal. That pain you’re feeling is part of the healing process and it’s entirely natural. Your perfect marriage has been blown out of the water and you never saw it coming. You’re hurt and angry. It’s normal.
It’s great he’s realised his mistake and wants to make it work, but it’s not something that’ll right itself overnight.
It’s going to take time and hard work, and things won’t be the same again. Things can be good again, but an affair always changes a relationship.
It doesn’t sound as if you’ve got the answers you want from him. He needs to be honest about his reasons for the affair or it’ll be hard for you to get past it.
If he’s not opening up to you, suggest relationship counselling so you can both let your feelings out in a controlled environment.
More of our agony aunt Coleen Nolan’s advice on your sex, family, health and relationship problems