I’m a 20-year-old mother juggling a baby and university. My family moved 100 miles away three weeks after I found out I was pregnant.
Now I only really have my boyfriend and his family for support, but his mother is really pushy.
She tries to tell me what to do with my baby, how to dress her, where I can and can’t go with her. It’s almost as if she wants my child to be hers.
I’ve tried to tell her to back off, but so far I’ve had no luck with it. I’ve asked my partner to ask her to stop being so controlling over our child, but I feel he always sides with his her.
I don’t know what else I can possibly try – at this rate I’m going to end up moving back to live with my own family and splitting up with my boyfriend.
I can see you have a lot of stress and sometimes the easiest thing to do is not to fight it in the way you’re fighting it.
I’m not suggesting you try to keep the peace by doing everything she says by any means, but let her think you’re taking what she says on board.
All it needs is a, “Yeah, that might be a good idea. Maybe I’ll try it, but I’m going to try it this way first. Thanks for the advice.”
Of course you don’t have to try it all. But she’ll appreciate the gesture.
Trust me, when my boys were little, I bit my tongue so many times with my in-laws and my own family. Everyone knows how to raise someone else’s child.
The thing with your own mum is that you can say ‘mind your own business’ because you love each other unconditionally.
But sometimes don’t be so stubborn – some of her advice might be good.
She has been there and done it herself. I did try my mum-in-law’s way occasionally, and it worked.
However, I know how frustrating it is – and you have a lot on your plate, which must feel overwhelming at times.
Remember, you’re doing a great job and, when you need to let off steam, call your mum or plan a weekend with your own family.
More of our agony aunt Coleen Nolan’s advice on your sex, family, health and relationship problems