I am seven weeks pregnant and my boyfriend, who I’ve been with for two and a half years, has just lost his football career.
I can’t even talk about the pregnancy with him because he is still so devastated about his job.
He’s known about the pregnancy for three weeks now and said that we’d get round to discussing it, but he hasn’t yet.
I don’t know what to do about the situation because all he can think about is himself. I feel sorry for him because he’s worked so hard, but I need answers.
I’m afraid he needs to talk about it right now if you’re contemplating not keeping the baby.
I’m sure he is devastated about his career, but he can’t change what happened, and he should man up and help you make a decision.
There’s no time to dance around the topic, you simply have to explain to him that you have a window of time in which to discuss this. Ignoring it isn’t going to achieve anything.
If he continues to refuse to talk about it, then the decision has to be down to you alone. And if you decide to carry on with the pregnancy, then you may have to accept you’ll be parenting alone.
I understand he’s upset, but he’s being incredibly selfish. You’re acutely aware of his situation and sensitive to it, but he’s not considering you at all.
Yes, this pregnancy may have come at the wrong time and you might be worried about how you’ll afford to have a child now. But in six months or less, he might have another job or a different career.
You have to look at the bigger picture – think of life as a marathon and not a sprint.
And take it from a mum of three, there’s never a “right time” to have a child. You have to be the strong one, but make sure you get support from your family and friends.
Also, go and see your GP to date your pregnancy and get advice on your options.
More of our agony aunt Coleen Nolan’s advice on your sex, family, health and relationship problems