Joy turned to sadness recently for my partner and me when we discovered she had miscarried our first child. We both turn 30 this year and want a child more than anything else in the world.
We’ve been devastated by the experience, but how long should we wait before trying again?
Get advice from your GP about the physical side of things, but the guidelines now are that you can try as soon as you and your partner feel ready.
Waiting until after your partner’s next period will make it easier to date a pregnancy, but won’t make any difference to the risk of miscarriage. You can get more information by visiting miscarriageassociation.org.uk.
It’s more about whether you feel emotionally strong enough to try again. You’re grieving for your child and we all deal with grief differently. For some couples, trying again straightaway is the right thing to do and can be healing in itself, but for others it takes longer.
I have several friends who’ve suffered miscarriages and I know that spending a bit of time not trying and doing nice things together has been beneficial. It’s important to remember you’re a loving couple and not become too focused on making everything about conceiving again.
It’s also important to remember that miscarriage, although a terrible loss, is very common and nothing to do with anything you did wrong.
So please don’t blame yourselves and good luck.
More of our agony aunt Coleen Nolan’s advice on your sex, family, health and relationship problems