I was surprised when my fiancee joined the army as she never seemed the type for such a career.
Soon after joining, she met a distinguished retired soldier at an army event, and eventually she left me for him.
He’s nearly three times her age, and to be honest I never expected their relationship to last.
But when I saw them recently, she was heavily pregnant.
Knowing we’ll never get back together has left me feeling very depressed.
I just never imagined I’d lose her this way. How can I put it behind me and get on with my life?
From your letter, it’s almost as if you’re still in shock.
I think that because of the huge age gap you maybe assumed she’d wake up to reality at some point and run back into your arms.
Now they’re having a child together, that’s looking very unlikely.
I know it hurts like hell and it will take time to get over completely. But accepting what’s happened and not thinking about getting back together with her will help you to move on.
As cliched as it sounds, time does heal. You feel terrible now and it’s natural to feel a sense of loss, hurt pride and anger too.
You will get to a point where you’re able to look back and not experience those horrible emotions – but you have to help things along.
Focus on your own life and creating opportunities – socially and at work.
One thing I know is that you won’t move on or meet anyone else while you’re thinking about her instead of yourself.
More of our agony aunt Coleen Nolan’s advice on your sex, family, health and relationship problems