I’ve been married for three years and my husband works from 8am till midnight every day (he’s in the hospitality sector) and we have a baby girl who’s nearly one.
He’s incredibly short tempered, never listens to anything I say, and is always in his own little world, plugged into his phone or tablet.
He has a very strong bond with his mum and sister – in fact, I’d say it’s nearly obsessive.
We live with his mum and I’m not allowed to say a word against her.
Every time I do, he threatens to punch me and tells me to go back to my own parents! He shouts so loudly the neighbours have heard him.
I don’t love him any more, but I stay because my mother-in-law looks after my daughter so I can work and I don’t want to place her in a nursery or with a childminder yet. I’m so fed up – please help.
Why not do what he suggests and move out with your daughter and live with your parents, even if it’s just a stopgap until you can arrange a place of your own?
Could they help with childcare until your daughter starts nursery?
From the sounds of it, your husband and his family are very controlling.
It’s great your mother-in-law looks after your baby, but why wouldn’t she be happy to do that – she’s her grandmother?
And if your husband thinks you ought to be grateful to be living with his mum while he spends his entire life at work, then he’s deluded.
How can this be a good relationship for either of you?
Threatening to hit you and shouting at you is abuse and the longer you stay, the more it’ll destroy your confidence and make it harder for you to leave.
Start making some plans to move out and get advice and support from your own family and friends.
The situation you’re in sounds potentially explosive and think of the effect on your baby.
Even this young, they experience stress from being somewhere where they’re exposed to shouting.
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