If you’ve been having sex for a while, you probably think you’re a pro. You know all the things women like and you are a champion in the bedroom. Well many men are selfish in the bedroom and only pay attention to how well they think they’re doing. Well this post on Single Woman Chronicles will shed light on if you’re really pleasing her or only pleasing yourself.
1) Switching Positions: Sir, I don’t know what Mr. Marcus DVD you’ve been watching but I AM NOT a porn star and this is not a performance. If you don’t calm down and stop switching positions! I just got in the groove of the last one and now you’re switching again!!! News Flash sir, I am not blissful at this moment, I’m just getting annoyed and dry from the lack of pleasure.
2) The Longer the Better: I don’t know why you think you need to last 1 whole hour?! If you haven’t made my toes curl by now then you just don’t know what the hell you’re doing sir! I don’t really care how long you last; honestly the quicker you make me squirm the quicker I can get back to Love and Hip Hop and you can get back to this football game. Learn my likes and dislikes and make me climax in 5 minutes and you’ll be the best I ever had.
3) The Bigger the Better: Okay Mandingo, we know you’re proud that you were blessed with an abnormally large man part but sir; I am not trying to get a hernia messing with you! You’re trying to go all the way in and I’m trying not to suffocate. THAT ISH HURTS! I’ll take Mr. Medium with thickness all day as long as he knows what to do with it. Mandingo can have a seat.
4) The Faster Pump Wins: “I want a man to fast pump my brains out” said NO WOMAN EVER! Women are sensual creatures so we like sensual motions. Don’t come over here with that jack rabbit pump and wonder why you have to spit on your hand to re-wet it! I am completely turned off sir! Can I get some long slow strokes to warm me up? Yes, you can go fast…after I get mines! Priorities people!
5) Microwave Method is a Go: Take it out, eat it, and put it back in…sound familiar? This is what we call the microwave method. Don’t get me wrong, every girl loves some good eating, but not in the middle of sex! I would rather you get your climax, take a break, then let’s start again. I hate when a guy is going and I’m close and they pull out because they’re close and they think if they eat it that I won’t miss the fact that they just pulled out. NEWS FLASH…I WAS CLOSE TO GETTING MINE TOO SIR! All you micro wavers need to chill and either get your stamina up or just be prepare to go 2 or 3 rounds so I can get mines. Or you can eat me so good in the beginning that once the sex comes I won’t even care that you climaxed fast.