I’ve been married for three weeks and I’m already on the brink of divorce.
My wife and I dated for four years before tying the knot and things were mostly good.
We went on holiday every year to Italy, her family loves me and we both have kids from previous relationships who all get on well.
But just before the wedding I was having doubts because we disagreed on everything – our religious beliefs, how we raise our kids and so on.
Then when we married last month it became apparent my friends didn’t think it was right.
For example, at our wedding rehearsal it was complicated getting everybody in the right place, so her dad was trying to help out and she yelled at him in front of the whole room.
Then on our wedding day we were taking pictures and had to be at the reception at a certain time, so I simply let her know we’d have to hurry.
She screamed at me in front of everyone which was very embarrassing.
My sister stepped in and told her to apologise, which she did.
After the wedding we went to Italy for the honeymoon and I was very ill with a stomach bug, but all she cared about was going to the beach.
She couldn’t have cared less about me.
When we got back she took all the money from our reception that friends and relatives had given to us as gifts and said she was using it as a down payment on another house for herself!
The whole thing is a nightmare and she’s changed so much now the wedding is over.
She ignores my texts, gets mad and leaves the house for hours without telling me where she’s going. What can I do?
So once the ring was on her finger, the real person came out.
It sounds as if you feel you’ve made the biggest mistake of your life.
I know two different couples who dated for years but when they got married they’d split within a year.
I think there is a danger of getting caught up in the whole wedding thing and you get to the point where you may have doubts but you can’t back out because everything is booked, planned and paid for.
So you end up walking down the aisle anyway.
I’m not suggesting you should file for divorce after only three weeks but you need a serious conversation – particularly about her having this separate house which suggests she wants a separate life.
She takes you for granted so badly that she makes arrangements to buy or rent a new place without even consulting you. She possibly feels she doesn’t have to.
You might need counselling to see if you can save the marriage.
I don’t think she knows how close you are to walking way – she needs to know that before you can progress.
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