Last year my girlfriend and I moved out of our London flat and relocated to a village in the countryside about an hour and a half outside the city, so we could be close to her family.
We have a two-year-old son and she really missed having her mum around and wanted him to grow up seeing family regularly.
On the surface, life seems great. We found a nice place to live and our son is happy. I, on the other hand, hate it.
The commute into work is hard and my job is stressful, so I’m always tired.
I barely get to see my girlfriend because I’m home late and I never get back in time to see my son before he goes to bed.
Then weekends are taken up with her family. I wished we’d never moved, but how can I tell her without hurting her feelings and causing an argument?
Don’t keep it bottled up inside because your resentment is only going to grow and then it’ll explode one day and you’ll regret it.
It’s OK to admit you’re struggling a bit – and the only way to try to make it work for both of you is to talk about it.
It sounds like you’ve made a sacrifice for her, so it’s up to her now to think about how she can make your new life more appealing.
And I imagine that spending quality time together at the weekends – without her family constantly in tow – would improve things for you.
She has the opportunity to see her mum during the week when you’re up in town working, so she should agree that weekends are your time together (most of the time at least).
You’re probably not being given a chance to get involved in your community and find things you enjoy doing because your free time is dictated by what’s going on with her family.
It’s about compromise and I think it’s her turn to do it.
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