I’ve been married for 14 years and we have four fantastic kids. But my wife and I have been going through a rough period for a couple of years and I don’t know what I can do.
She doesn’t come near me, she sleeps in a separate bedroom and if we ever do get the chance to be alone, she makes an excuse to do something else.
I’m at my wits’ end. I want her to want me as much as I want her – not just sexually, but in every way – but I don’t think she feels the same.
I have suggested counselling but she refuses. Is it time to throw in the towel? I feel so alone.
I always say, you can feel more lonely living with someone than being on your own if things aren’t right with that person.
I think what you need to say is we need to get help for our marriage or it’s over.
It’s all very well refusing to go to counselling but isn’t that just saying, “I don’t care how you’re feeling”, or, “I don’t want to make the effort to make it better”.
You can have counselling on your own to help you work through your feelings and what you want.
If you have a frank discussion with your wife and lay everything out on the table, you have to be prepared for the fact she might say, “OK, let’s end it”.
But then at least you’ll know where you stand and can move on with your life.
* More of our agony aunt Coleen Nolan’s advice on your sex, family, health and relationship problems