Distance can kill a relationship—if you let it. The alternative is finding ways to maintain the spark, despite the hundreds or even thousands of miles that make sex a special occasion kind of thing. Our No. 1 tip: embrace technology. For tips on how to do this with tact, we talked to Nick Savoy, president of Love Systems, who clued us in on how to turn a smartphone into the ultimate tool for keeping an LDR alive.
The once-a-day check-in is great and all, but let’s face it: We have our needs, too. So, spice up your chat with some dirty talk. First, get comfortable—nobody can have great phone sex while pacing around the living room. Then, choose scenarios that you can both visualize.
“Talking on the phone is great because you can hear her reactions, tone, and moans,” Savoy says. “And neither of you needs to be using your hands to type.”
“Skype can be a great way to show her you miss her body as well as her face—and women want to be valued for both,” Savoy notes. So, when things get steamy over Skype, ask her to dress the part. (There’s nothing wrong with a little over-the-screen role play.) In exchange, show a few valuable items while you have the opportunity.
Let the conversation unfold naturally, and don’t try too hard to come up with something supersexy to say. Your partner loves you for who you are and expects your quirkiness to reflect in your messages—even the dirty ones. “You want to remind her that you’re not just another text message, and that there’s a man behind each message that she’s connected to,” Savoy says.
When things get hot and heavy via text, suggest switching to the phone.
“If you’re going to use e-mail, then take advantage of the one benefit it does have: Instead of, say, 168 characters in a text, you have as much space as you want,” Savoy notes. “Women like the buildup, the sexual tension, the escalation, the seduction, etc., so give it to her. Don’t worry, you don’t have to channel Shakespeare or Cyrano de Bergerac, just describe a night with her, take your time each step of the way, and leave room to tell her how the different things you’re imagining make you feel.”
“If you’re going to send her sexy pictures, don’t just snap and send,” warns Savoy. “Take a million pictures and choose the best. Also, be more creative than just standing in front of a bathroom mirror. Show her how turned on you are by her, not just with your body, but with your eyes and face as well.”