Dear Coleen: My husband wants to buy me a boob job – should I feel insulted?

Dear Coleen

I’ve been married for five years and we have two young children.

I breast-fed both my babies, and my breasts – never that big to begin with – are now virtually nonexistent.

I’m self-conscious of them and the other night I joked to my husband that I needed breast implants.

Instead of reassuring me, as I thought he would, he jumped on my suggestion and said that yes, he thinks I should – and that he would be happy to pay for them.

Ever since then I’ve become even more self-conscious and I can’t bear getting undressed in front of him.

I’m so upset at his suggestion, but then I worry I’m being too sensitive and maybe he’s right, that I should get one. What do you suggest?

Coleen says

I don’t think your husband can win. It’s a typical woman thing – you’re standing there saying, “I hate my breasts” and then when he turns around and agrees with you, you take offence.

He’s not saying, “If you don’t get your boobs done I’m leaving you” and he didn’t bring it up first.

And you know what, you probably go on about your boobs more than you think. So he thinks you’re not happy and he’s just trying to be helpful in that male way.

He’s offering to pay for it which is his way of showing he wants to help.

And anyway, if he’d turned around and said, “No, you’re not doing that!”, what would you think then? He can’t win.

As for whether to do it or not, only you can decide. If it makes you happy, then go for it. If you’re not sure, wait and see how you feel in the future.

* More of our agony aunt Coleen Nolan’s advice on your sex, family, health and relationship problems