A year ago my husband had a stroke and became very immobile. He’s 62 and before this we were enjoying his retirement and having some time to ourselves after years of bringing up our two sons who are now married with families of their own.
My husband was always a very independent man who ran marathons and had his own business. He hasn’t adjusted well to his illness.
He’s become very short tempered and he often shouts at me. I know he’s frustrated but I don’t know how much longer I can cope.
Our friends and family are always offering their help but I don’t like to burden them, especially our sons who are busy working and caring for young children.
My husband is also very proud and doesn’t like people to know just how incapable he’s become. I’m at the end of my tether and don’t know what to do. Please help?
You must lean on your friends and family. When people offer to help you must not feel guilty – just take up the offer.
What’s happened to your husband is terribly tragic. It happened to an uncle of mine and my auntie was basically his full-time carer and eventually she got help. She got a carer who came in for an hour or so in the morning and each evening.
She felt terribly guilty at first but it was such a help because she needed a break.
I feel for your husband and I’m sure he feels proud and embarrassed, but tell him you love him and will always be here for him but that you can’t do this all on your own. And contact the Stroke Association at stroke.org.uk for more help and advice.
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