Women Reveal Their Most Awkward Anal Sex Stories Ever
“Apparently, we used too much lube and our lovemaking turned into some sort of freaky colonoscopy/sloshy enema colonic. “
Everything about anal sex is awkward. It’s not something that most people have a ton of experience doing, so when it does happen there’s a lot of, “Um, is this it?” But beyond that, it can get even more awkward for a number of reasons. Cosmopolitan.com spoke with five women who know those reasons all too well.
1. “Apparently, we used too much lube and our lovemaking turned into some sort of freaky colonoscopy/sloshy enema colonic.”
“I’d always wanted to check anal sex off my bucket list and finally it was happening. We’d used a lot of lube and were really getting into it until we noticed a horrible smell. Apparently, we used too much lube and our love-making turned into some sort of freaky colonoscopy/sloshy enema colonic. ACK! Instant buzzkill! My partner pulled his penis out quickly and got in the shower to rinse off. He was almost crying as all that liquid poop washed away from him while I was still cleaning off the mattress as I tried not to throw up. This forever cured me of my need for anal sex.” -Becca, 32
2. “I had forgotten that I had stopped by the Indian lunch buffet earlier that day and feasted upon chana masala and palak paneer.”
“Me and my boyfriend wanted to spice up our sex routine and try it in the butt. Unfortunately, I had forgotten that I had stopped by the Indian lunch buffet earlier that day and feasted upon chana masala and palak paneer, and I accidentally pooped on his bed after we did anal. Not exactly what he meant when he said he wanted to spice things up!” -Michelle, 22
3. “When he tried to put it in, there was so much, um, resistance that he got freaked out and left the room .”
“This guy I was seeing and I had been planning to have anal sex in his college dorm. Neither one of us had ever tried it before so we didn’t know you probably need a lot of lube. When he tried to put it in, there was so much, um, resistance that he got freaked out and left the room and didn’t come back for over an hour. I just sat there wondering if I should go home.” -Kelsey, 24
4. “He was really into the idea of me pegging him, I guess because he was drawn to inverting our power dynamic.”
“The last man I dated was 20 years older than me and had formerly been my high school English teacher. He was really into the idea of me pegging him, I guess because he was drawn to inverting our power dynamic. The first time we tried, however, he arranged himself in an eagerly spread position and I was greeted by a moderate amount of recent shit remnants in and around the opening. In order to preserve his dignity, and out of a level of paralysis about what to do, I proceeded with the light touch and was left with dirty fingers. We never made it to the next level.” -Louise, 27
5. ” He pulled out way too quickly and a flood of crap started pouring out of me .”
“I was hooking up with a guy freshman year of college at his parent’s house because they told us they’d be away for the weekend. I’d always wanted to try anal and it was one of those weekends where you’re just feeling up for anything. We started getting into it and all of a sudden, we hear the garage door start to open. He pulled out way too quickly and a flood of crap started pouring out of me while he tried to go and bring his parents (who’d just come home early) upstairs before they could see me pooping all over their bed. Never again.” -Cassie, 21
