I cheated with my girlfriend’s friend who we met on holiday.
My girlfriend and daughter met this girl who was also with her daughter and became inseparable while we were there.
Nothing happened between us on the holiday, but the girl arranged to visit us back in the UK and we spent a day together and all stayed in a hotel.
The kids went to sleep and the three of us stayed up chatting and drinking.
Then my girlfriend went to bed and her friend and I stayed up a while chatting and drinking.
I went to buy cigarettes and she insisted on coming with me. Before I knew it, she’d jumped on me and started kissing and feeling me up.
I asked her what she was doing and she said she just wanted to have a bit of fun. I told her it was wrong because of her friendship with my girlfriend, but she didn’t seem to care. We ended up having sex outside in the rain.
The next morning, I felt bad about what happened. I managed to have a brief chat with the girl, but she didn’t seem remorseful and said it would be our secret.
She has now arranged for my girlfriend, daughter and I to visit them up North in October. And while I don’t regret it, although I won’t be going out of my way to do it again.
However, I don’t know if I can stop myself if she makes a move on me. I’ve spoken to her since that night and she says she’ll need to practise self-restraint when we visit her. If my girlfriend were to find out she would be devastated. Help!
If you want to save your relationship, you need to get this girl out of your life. The worst thing you can do is spend more time in her company.
If your girlfriend wants to visit her up North, let her go alone to have a girlie weekend and hope her friend doesn’t get drunk and spill the beans!
You’re also making it sound like it was all down to this girl, but you could have said no when she started to kiss you. It takes two to cheat – you didn’t have to go along with it!
What’s more, you say that you don’t really regret it, which makes me worry a bit about how committed you are to your girlfriend.
You need to be honest with yourself and if you want to sleep with other people, then do the decent thing and finish with your girlfriend.
If you decide that sleeping with this girl was a one-off mistake and you can live with the guilt, then you really need to make sure you don’t see her again and focus on your relationship.
As for her, she’s no friend to either of you and is probably motivated by a bit of jealousy.
You might find she’ll dump your girlfriend pretty fast if you’re not part of the package any more. If your girlfriend had written to me, I’d have told her to get rid of both of you!
* More of our agony aunt Coleen Nolan’s advice on your sex, family, health and relationship problems