It’s a bad week to have been conducting an extra-marital affair.
Especially for those who use adultery site Ashley Madison to facilitate their clandestine goings-on.
The internet has been in uproar since a group called The Impact Team claimed to have hacked the website.
In a take-down of love rats all over the world, they have threatened to reveal its 37 million users’ identities and intimate details.
But 37 million is an incredibly high number of people facing a public outing, many of whom are having to REALLY confront their motivations.
Do they all feel so blasé as this lady? Delusional? Or has this threat prompted remorse and regret?
From the eight responses below sent to Mirror Online, it’s a mixed bag of defiance, defensiveness, glee and sadness.
1. Lives and families will be destroyed
I joined and left the site years ago, and used a false name. I don’t know if they kept my credit card info, which would have had my real name.
I am in a sexless marriage, but my spouse and I are comfortable together.
I never met anyone on Ashley Madison, so there was no adultery.
Frankly, I don’t know what I would have done if I had met someone…Would it have led to an affair? I don’t know.
The hackers could destroy families, and the lives of children. From what I’ve read, it was one person, who is known to the company.
The story should be about that person, not the millions of people living in less-than-ideal marriages.
2. His suspicions about his wife were right
I had a profile (for a week) following reading an article about the number of women using the site.
As a victim of adultery, who has come to terms (somewhat) with this and has resolved never to cheat by way of revenge, I searched the site for long enough to establish if my wife was on it.
And to see if I wasn’t being a complete fool to believe in our future together.
I am sure I am not the only genuine, jilted person to do this.
3. Driven by a sexless marriage
As a woman on the site, I have never had to pay and so never used my real name of birth date, or any other personal info.
Even my pictures were cropped to never show my face. I might be one of the lucky ones.
But I feel bad for these guys.
Many of them are loving fathers, and even love their wives, but live in a sexless marriage not by their own choice.
My husband refuses to do anything about his lack of sex drive, no matter how much I pleaded and told him how important sex was in a relationship.
I went years without sex before I joined AM.
Yes, maybe it’s selfish, but I also think one spouse forcing another into a life of celibacy without asking, because they don’t ‘feel’ like having sex is also just as selfish.
Staying together instead of divorce seems strange to some people, but believe it or not, except for the lack of sex, it’s a very loving marriage.
4. Caught her husband out
May they all be outed! They get what they deserve: it’s hilarious!
My husband spent £100s on the site before I caught him, then thousands more trying to sort out our marriage with therapists.
We are still together, if less happily now. I know he could have had an affair elsewhere, but he tried and failed at that for a while.
Ashley Madison opened up a universe of opportunity with all sorts of women who might not have looked at him in ‘real life’.
It’s a very damaging thing, so this hack couldn’t have happened to a more deserving bunch of people – the company AND the clients.
5. Will his wife believe he never used it?
Very nervous, signed up about 3 years ago when having a particularly difficult period in my marriage.
Chatted to half a dozen ladies and soon realised this wasn’t for me.
Paid for the full delete and moved on to sorting myself and my marriage out, which we did.
Now am facing the actions of a stupid man (me, not the hackers) possibly ruining what we have.
Nothing happened but putting myself in my wife’s shoes – would she believe me?
Am in a panic about whether to ‘fess up’ now or take my chances.
I don’t condone my actions or seek understanding, but am pretty sure am not alone in dabbling on the site and then moving on after realising how stupid I’d been.
6. Cheaters’ DON’T break the law. Hackers DO
My husband may have cheated on me before, and I would rather not know about it.
Despite that, he is a great father and family provider.
The bottom line is we’ve had our differences in our marriage.
Cheating isn’t illegal. But it’s completely illegal to hack, especially based on personal beliefs.
7. Not ALL of us are scumbags!
I am on the site but only very recently. I am separated and look only for separated or single men.
We are not all adulterous scumbags.
In fact, my husband is, hence why we are separated and on here after a very long, miserable marriage.
8. It’s his wife’s problem
I am part of the site but not worried.
If my spouse was doing her part of what a relationship should provide I would not have gone to the site.
But she hasn’t. Not even close.
And I have been extremely upfront about that.