I’m in an awkward situation. My beloved boyfriend of two years has been stealing money from his work, and although he denies it to everyone, it’s obvious that it’s him.
The thing is, I don’t want to challenge him because our relationship is really working out, and I don’t want to do anything to ruin it.
However, because I am sticking up for him, it’s turning people against me. It’s a real dilemma and I would appreciate it if you can advise me in any way.
Why do you want to be in a relationship with a thief? Surely knowing he does this must affect how you feel about him – how can you respect him?
And of course you’ll get tarred with the same brush because, by doing nothing, you’re in effect condoning his behaviour – that’s how other people will see it.
They don’t love him like you do – to them he’s just a thief and you’re sticking up for him. And what will you do if he gets caught?
If he carries on, it will be only a matter of time before he does get found out. And then what will your friends say? Probably “I told you so” and you can’t blame them because it sounds like they’ve tried to warn you.
You can’t avoid talking to him about it – ask him why he’s doing it. Does he have financial worries? Is it just greed or the thrill of it that he enjoys? Has it become an addiction?
Maybe confronting him will ruin your relationship, but what kind of relationship will you have if he’s behind bars? None at all.
You have to think about your future and if you stick with him while he’s stealing, then you’ll have to accept that he’s probably capable of lying about other things.
Are you prepared to get a house with him and share bills? Can you commit to someone so untrustworthy?
You can’t get away from the fact that what he’s doing is criminal and you might just need those friends you’re alienating right now when it all blows up in his face.
* More of our agony aunt Coleen Nolan’s advice on your sex, family, health and relationship problems