I don’t know how to explain this but I feel my boyfriend doesn’t value me.
The care that should come naturally for the one you love doesn’t seem to exist in him.
When he falls ill he needs me and I go over to his house to comfort him. But when I am poorly and want to see him I have to be the one who struggles over to his place.
And he barely lifts a finger to help me. He won’t even get me soup or coffee.
However, when it comes to his best girl friend, he knows exactly how to make her feel better – a tub of mango ice cream, which he’ll deliver in person so he can give her a hug too.
He also picks at my flaws and generally makes me feel unloved and bad about myself.
How can I make this better?
I think you need to value yourself and you can start by refusing to let him take you for granted.
Don’t be so available to mop his brow and take him chicken soup.
And as for his friend, I think you simply need to tell him that if he doesn’t start putting you ahead of her then he’ll soon be free to see her whenever he wants – because you’re sick of taking second place.
But what’s more worrying for me is that he’s constantly chipping away at your self-esteem, finding fault with you and making you feel bad about yourself.
If you’re not careful, you’ll feel so battered you won’t have the confidence to leave. If you make a stand and it doesn’t work then I think you should walk away.
Trust me, there will be plenty of guys out there who are willing to mop your brow.
* More of our agony aunt Coleen Nolan’s advice on your sex, family, health and relationship problems