I am 18 and I have just met the woman of my dreams.
I love her so much but I’m not sure how my family will react when they find out she is divorcing her bedridden husband and has three kids all older than me, plus our own baby on the way.
I’m not sure how our families will be with us when the divorce is settled and we get married. How do I break the news to my mum?
I’m not often lost for words but you’ve managed it with this letter.
You say you’ve “just” met the woman of your dreams, suggesting this relationship is fairly new. If that’s the case, how do you know she’s the woman of your dreams? You must not know her very well.
You have to be very careful that you’re not confusing lust with love and letting the excitement of a new relationship with a much older woman cloud your judgment.
She comes with a lot of baggage, too. Are you ready for the complications that come with stepkids older than you as well as a sick ex-hubby in the background? It’s a lot to take on at 18.
If you can, take a step back and a deep breath and imagine what your life will be like in five or 10 years.
I know you have a baby on the way and should take responsibility but if there’s one bit of advice I’d urge you to take it’s this: do not rush into getting married.
See how things go once the baby arrives. Babies, as lovely as they are, can test the strongest of relationships and they do change things. And if you decide this relationship isn’t for you, you can still be a good dad.
As for your mum, there’s no easy way to tell her. You’re just going to have to bite the bullet (just make sure she’s sitting down). She’ll probably be upset and angry, but don’t push her away. You might need her support down the line.
* More of our agony aunt Coleen Nolan’s advice on your sex, family, health and relationship problems