How to Have a Quickie

Here’s How You and Your Partner Can Make the Most Out of a Few Minutes

A little sex is better than no sex.

If time is the only thing standing between you and your partner having some fun, having a quick romp can be just the thing you need for something fun and exciting until you can indulge in a more comprehensive sex session.

“Quickies can help keep you and your partner connected,” says Dr. Lee Phillips, psychotherapist and certified sex and couples therapist. “They can increase intimacy levels, especially if you and your partner have a dry spell.”

As Dr. Jenni Skyler, an LMFT- and AASECT-certified sex therapist for AdamEve.com, explains, quickies also help even the playing field for partners with different sex drives.

“Quickies are great to scratch the itch for a swift orgasm and great gifts for the higher-desire partner,” she says.

If you and your partner are going through a busy time at work and aren’t connecting as often as you’re used to, a quickie might be just what you both need.

But if you’re not on the same page or don’t know what you’re doing, you could turn your experience into a serious screw-up. To prevent that, here are some tips for how to have a satisfying quickie:

1. Communicate Your Intentions

Knowing you’re having a quickie is key to a satisfying and exciting experience. For example, if your partner thinks you’re trying to initiate sex and feels stressed about the time commitment, it won’t make for an enjoyable experience.

“Even though quickies can be spontaneous, they are great when planned because you can talk and flirt with your partner about how you want a quickie,” Philips adds. “For example, what will you wear? Where will you have the quickie? Are you going to bring a toy? What type of sex do you want to have? Oral, penetrative sex, or both? Are there positions that you would like to try?”

“At the end of the day, you know your partner best,” says Bri, 26. “If they’re not the type of person to go with the flow and need to know what time the flow starts, ask for a quickie instead of just initiating sex so they know for sure.”

2. Change Up the Location

Speaking of new positions, having a quickie somewhere other than your bed makes it easier to squeeze in. Not to mention, the novelty of a new location adds to the experience.

“Let’s be honest: sex between a long-term couple can get boring, so a quickie can spice it up,” says Philips. “For example, having a quickie in the car may be a turn-on and a fantasy. So, tell your partner how this can enhance your sex life.”

“The key to an ideal quickie spot is somewhere that feels a little exposed but is actually totally safe,” says Kyle, 26. “Car sex is great for this, in my opinion. If you want to play it completely safe, stay in your driveway.”

3. Choose the Right Position

When it comes to pulling off a quickie, finding a position that lets you hit it and quit it is key.

“There are quick and satisfying sex positions that people may use as well,” says Philips. “Straddling your partner in a sitting position is quick and to the point. Doggy-style is also a favorite one because you can do this standing.”

“My favorite quickie position is up against a wall with most of our clothes still on,” says Bianca, 34. “Something about that feeling of urgency where you just have to have me right there and then is such a huge turn on.”

4. Don’t Forget the Lube

Having a quickie means less time for the arousal process. To help things along, Skyler recommends having products at your disposal to help.

“Have toys and lube readily accessible for easier access to quicker arousal,” says Skyler.

Quickies mean you can’t build up arousal in a slow, luxurious manner, which is why Skyler says toys and lube are key for a quickie. If anything else gets you in the mood, Skyler recommends using it as part of the quickie process.

“Some couples will pop on porn; others will share a quick fantasy; others will just use the shower to pull off something fast and easy and then already be clean after,” she says. “All of these tips allow for the sexual process to be fast-forwarded.”

5. Have Realistic Expectations

The reality of having a quickie is that even though it can be a fun experience for both partners, both partners might not cross the finish line simultaneously or at all.

“Arousal and orgasm will inevitably be asynchronous, and that’s okay,” says Skyler. “Quickies don’t mean we start or finish at the same level of arousal and fun. We need to be patient with a slower partner and not rush their process, even if it’s a quickie.”

Like any sexual experience, the focus should be on pleasure for both partners, not just getting to the big “O.”

“I still think quickies are fun even when I don’t get off,” says Claire, 30. “My current partner and I both work a ton, so quickies (in the shower specifically) are a big way we stay intimate during the week.”

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Source: AskMen