I’m really happy with my girlfriend – we’ve been together for six years and our relationship is pretty perfect.
We’re the best of friends, we rarely argue and our sex life is regular (if lacking excitement).
But recently I’ve gained a new circle of friends and one particular girl in this group is making me feel so confused.
I’ve never thought about cheating or leaving my girlfriend, but this girl is really making me consider it. I talk to her constantly and feel so alive when I do that it makes it impossible to ignore the feelings I have for her. I still love my girlfriend, but I’m not sure I’m in love with her any more.
I can’t get this new girl out of my head and I’m really struggling.
You should be very careful. At the moment it’s all very romantic and seems appealing because it’s “forbidden”. But rather than put this new girl out of your head, put her into your head and imagine in as much detail as you can what your life would be like without your girlfriend in it.
It’s not just about sex at the end of the day – that initial rush of sexual excitement you experience with someone new wears off. It doesn’t mean sex isn’t exciting any more, but it changes as your relationship develops and deepens.
You say sex with your girlfriend could be more exciting, so maybe you’re just in a rut and need to find ways of putting that spark back. If that doesn’t work and you do want to progress things with this new girl, then do the decent thing and be honest with your girlfriend.
Don’t have a fling to test the water before jumping in.
* More of our agony aunt Coleen Nolan’s advice on your sex, family, health and relationship problems