What do you call a hole-in one at 6 a.m.? Wake up sex.
Was that funny enough to get your attention? Of course it was, I see those reading eyes wandering this direction. I also see some wonder about what could possibly be bad about wake up sex. Or you may wonder what this wake up sex thing actually is because it’s absent in your life.
Work gets in the way. Dogs on the bed get in the way. Kids get in the way. Blah. Blah Blah. Those are all excuses because the age old saying still holds true: You make time for what matters! And on that note, let’s get to the heart of the matter.
Wake up sex can be all that and a pack of gum. And hopefully just as tasty, sticky sweet!
1. A Great Wake Up
For starters, it’s a better kick starter than a Frappuccino Mocha Peppermint Twist Latte. Wake up sex is a great wake you up that can make that crawl into the workplace a bearable experience.
Yesterday you wanted to cut your bosses head off with rusty scissors as they shoveled work onto you at minute one. Today? You’re walking and talking as if you just found the one ring to rule them all.
2. Pleasant Partner Thoughts Personified
Keeping things fresh and vibrant in a relationship is one of the two most important things a couple can do to stay connected. And in the area of fresh and vibrant, sex in the shower before you get ready for work is a nice option.
So is staying in bed and refusing to let bed head, no make-up and less than stellar breath get in the way of a good roll in the hay. There is so much goodness to two people that can just be in the moment and have some fun, laughs and great sexual release, all before 8 a.m. You will remember it and that “stay connected” comment will be real.
3. Goodbye Stress
For third-sies, a great stress reliever good morning wake up sex can be. Channeling my inner Yoda for this one, despite the fact I have never been able to watch even three seconds of Star Wars.
But I digress. It’s an all-day soccer tournament and you need a secret decoder ring to understand the convoluted traveling schedule. If they win in Haymarket we must travel to Markethay. If they lose in Markethay, the consolation game is in Kethaymart.
The circumference of an orange is equal to the sound of a mime. Sound like something you go through? Or a work version of this? How might you be able to go into these situations a little less stressed? Mmm hmmm…
4. Spicing Things Up
For fourth-sies, variety is good. Why have vanilla sex when you can buy that at any five and dime. Heck, McDonalds sells it for 89 cents and a lost liver. Where you have sex is variety. The positions in which you explore is variety.
As well, when you have sex is, in fact, variety. Get out of the every-other-evening-for-96-seconds-between-bedroom-entrance-and-tooth-brushing routine.
Now, there are some not so great things to wake up sex.
1. The Avoidance Factor
One such thing is the avoidance factor. Translation, we fought last night and went to bed angry. Now we wake up and have sex so that the unpleasant feeling can be replaced by this very temporary pleasant feeling. And why is it very temporary? Because whatever unresolved thing you fought about still lingers.
2. The Lazy Factor
The second such is the lazy factor. Translation, you had wake up sex even though you didn’t have the energy to raise your left eyebrow ever so slightly. Don’t have wake up sex if you’re too tired and lazy to have wake up sex.
Yes, the bad list is a lot shorter than the good list. That’s sex when done right and at the right time. Like in the morning. When you wake up.
One last thing: If you’re reading this and thinking that your sex life isn’t even healthy without wake up sex, you must address that. There should be no such thing as bad or unsatisfying sex in your life. For real.