Do you want to know how to spice things up in the bedroom? In case you do, I assume that you are in a relationship that is anything but exciting, or that you are single and you want to be prepared for your next relationship.
Either way, you are fucked.
Nah, just kidding. Let’s get serious again.
I think it’s really great that you want to know about all the things you can do to transform your dull and monotonous relationship into a firework of passionate feelings and mind-blowing orgasms. There are already too many guys who don’t give a shit if their girlfriend fakes their orgasms or has real ones. You definitely don’t have to be one of them.
You are a better boyfriend. You are a boyfriend who not only cares about the emotional wellbeing of your girlfriend (or your imaginary future girlfriend). You are a real man who knows that a woman’s vagina has to shake, rattle and roll from time to time and you also know that it’s your job to make its owner scream your name.
Yes, it’s your job and your duty as a Global Seducer who loves women to make her bed rock and it is my job and duty to give you the necessary information, advice and thought-provoking impulses to easily fulfill your job profile.
That’s why I decided to write about all the things that you can do in order to spice things up in the bedroom, so that you can give your girlfriend the most mind-blowing orgasm she ever had.
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How to Spice Things Up in the Bedroom
What are the things you can do to spice up your relationship? Well, there are a lot of things you can and should do, but before we are getting all serious again I want to show you a bad example of what you should not do.
Watch the following video and promise me that you won’t take spicing things up literally and that you don’t make any racist jokes against Mexicans while you are in bed with a girl who has such amazing boobs like the girl in this video:
Joking around in the bedroom is great, but that doesn’t mean that you have to cover the love of your life in salsa sauce before you get down and dirty. I mean, if she doesn’t mind the burning you can put some salsa sauce on her vagina before you lick her like Lassy.
However, when I talk about being more playful in the bedroom, I am usually not talking about making your girlfriend scream by putting a spicy sauce on her and inside of her.
1. It’s Okay to Laugh
It’s okay to laugh while you are watching a funny movie. It’s okay to laugh when you are together with your friends and believe it or not, it’s also okay to laugh when you are in bed with your girlfriend.
The bedroom shouldn’t be a place of seriousness. It should be a place in which it is allowed to be playful and to have fun. It’s okay to smile with pride when you are on top of her. It’s absolutely okay when your girlfriend squeals when you slap her ass. It’s even okay when you both start to laugh when you slip out and you thrust into nowhere.
You shouldn’t take life and sex too serious.
Your girlfriend is way more relaxed when she knows that you are still comfortable when funny things happen. No girl wants to worry about whether or not the guy she is sleeping with shows how awkward and disgusting the sound that her vagina makes is, after you pumped too much air inside of her.
We all know that it sounds like farting. All she wants is a guy who is confident and playful enough to not react in an awkward way. You can also adopt this mindset outside of the realm of the funny sound that a farting vagina makes.
Whenever my girlfriend is in a bad mood, I just start to tickle her. The more she laughs the more I touch her. I then just have to pull her towards me and her bad mood magically transforms into a feeling of horniness.
The next time your girlfriend is in a bad mood you can simply start to tickle her out of her clothes.
The combination of laughing and fucking can be quite satisfying.
2. Some Creativity Please
If you want to know how to spice things up in the bedroom, you should already have reached a level of consciousness that allows you to think of more than one sex position. Yes, there is actually more that you can do than banging a girl in the missionary position for five minutes, before you collapse on her like a sack of spuds.
Have a look at the following list of sex positions if you want some inspiration for cold winter nights.
You can lie on top, you can lie underneath her and you can bang her from behind. You can slide inside her while you are standing, or while you are sitting. You can have some fun in the bedroom, under the shower, on the kitchen table and you can even fuck her on the couch of your housemate with whom you have a score to settle.
There are tons of places that you can use to test countless sex positions.
Be more creative than popular actors in movie sex scenes who collapse right after they lied on top of a girl for less than three seconds. Learning how to spice things up in the bedroom requires at least a touch of creative thinking.
3. How About a Sensual Massage?
Penetrating her with your penis is great, but your dick is not the only thing that can give a woman a pleasurable feeling. Don’t forget your ten fingers. Each and every one of your fingers can be seen as a mini penis and besides fingering her as if there was no tomorrow, you can use your fingers for a sensual massage.
In combination with massage oil, dimmed light and relaxing music, your fingers are little magic sticks that have the power to spice up every relationship.
One of the main reasons why women are bored in a relationship is the lack of passion. While your logical male brain still searches for the definition for the word passion, the average female brain constantly thinks about all the positive, exciting and tempting emotions she could possible feel before and while you are inside of her.
In case you have never given her a sensual massage, you should definitely try to trigger those positive emotions while you massage her naked body with warm oil. Massage her out of her senses and make her feel what it means to get spoilt by a passionate man who focuses his whole energy on pleasing her.
4. See More than the Start and Finish Line
As a man who wants to know how to spice things up in the bedroom, you should define sex as more than an orgasm. A great lover is a guy who sees more than the start (stick your penis in) and the finish line (pull your penis out).
As the great lover who you are or at least want to become, you have to focus on all the little but important things that happen between nervously searching for the condom and screaming when you find out that the condom broke.
I am sorry to say this, but you can’t spice up a relationship when you don’t take your time to think about all the moments that could be jazzed up. Every kiss, every bite, every word and every touch can change the way your girlfriend experiences the sex with you.
Improving your sex life is about the intensity between the thrusts.
It’s about the dedication with which you kiss her and the strength with which you hold her in your arms. It’s about more than starting as fast as possible and finishing as fast as possible.
It’s about every moment in between.
5. Share Your Deepest (and Weirdest) Desires
It was Zan Perrion who once said that honesty is the greatest aphrodisiac.
If you want to know how to spice things up in the bedroom you should become comfortable with the thought of honestly sharing your sexual desires with the girl you love.
I know that it’s easier to tell a random girl who you don’t care about that you want to fuck her in the ass, than to say the same thing to a girl you don’t want to lose. Nevertheless, I believe that your girlfriend has a right to know about the fantasies that her boyfriend has while he is inside of her.
Sharing your deepest and weirdest fantasies with your girlfriend kills two birds with one stone.
One the one hand, she will trust and respect you even more for being the honest man you are. On the other hand, your honesty allows her to also open up about her fantasies and desires.
I guarantee you that you don’t need any tips on spicing up your sex life, once you know each other’s fantasies. Unless you tell her that you are into illegal stuff that includes incest and necrophilia, you’ll have a wonderful time.
6. The World Consists of More than Your Bedroom
I already told you that your bedroom is not the only place that you can use for the fun activity that is called sexual intercourse. What if I told you that the world offers hundreds of places besides your bedroom and your housemate’s couch that can be used as a playground for your dirty thoughts?
Having sex in public is not a crime.
It’s a perfect way to rescue a relationship that needs a high dose of adrenalin.
Okay, what I just said isn’t quite right. In some cases sex in public is actually a crime, so make sure that you don’t get caught and that you don’t choose the middle of a crowded shopping street as the perfect venue to spice things up with your girlfriend.
Invite her on a road trip and have fun in the car while you are on the road. Go for a walk in the forest and lead her behind a tree before you start to kiss and to undress her. Go to the public swimming pool and take off her bikini as soon as you are in the changing room.
There are many places that are suited for a public sex adventure without risking that some sexually frustrated moron calls the police.
7. A Woman Consists of More than One Hole
If you believe that vaginal intercourse is the only way to please a woman you are pretty narrow-minded. Don’t get me wrong. A woman’s vagina is definitely the number one spot that you should look at when you want to satisfy her. I mean, nobody can deny the power of the clitoris.
However, if you want to spice things up in the bedroom you might want to take a look at the other holes that a woman has to offer.
Just think about all the fun and exciting things you can do with her mouth and her ass.
Whenever a guy tells me that he thinks that most women don’t like giving blowjobs and that it is a myth that women enjoy anal sex, I immediately know that this man made some bad choices in his life. He definitely surrounded himself with the wrong girls, or he behaved in a weak and needy way that didn’t allow the right girls to live out their dirty fantasies.
Nearly every girl I seduced enjoyed teasing me with a sensual blowjob and about 50% of all the women I shared a bed and body fluids with admitted that they fantasize about anal sex. Stop making excuses and begin to pep up your relationship by taking care of all her beautiful holes.
8. Dress Up to Undress
Who says that only women are allowed to dress in a seductive way?
No, I am not talking about this perversion that is just another reason why you should leave the Western hemisphere ASAP!
I am talking about elegant suits, shirts that underline the shape of your body and underwear without Homer Simpson images. If you want to know how to spice things up in the bedroom, you shouldn’t be afraid of presenting your body in the best possible way.
You might not have the most muscular body and instead of a six pack you might even have a one pack that can be used as a pillow. However, that doesn’t mean that you can’t dress up to undress.
I know that your sweatpants are so damn comfortable, but I think we both know that a woman is more excited when she takes off your tie and your blazer than when she helps you out of your sweatpants.
The next time you want to seduce the girl of your dreams you should surprise her, by presenting yourself in a way that she has never seen before. Wear a nice suit, put on some perfume and to drive her completely nuts you can even wash your hair after the obligatory two months.
Once you enter the room and she stares at you like a deer into the headlights, you put her head in your hands and kiss her like she has never been kissed before.
9. Talk Dirty to Me
Talking dirty is an art and most men are crappy artists.
From countless conversations I know that one of the first things that men think of when they ask themselves how to spice things up in the bedroom is the good old dirty talk. I honestly have to tell you that this is a tricky topic.
You probably also want to know how to talk dirty to the girl you want to keep in your life, but there is a 90% chance that you would do it completely wrong. Due to the fact that I want to help you to rescue your relationship, instead of getting kicked in the balls while she screams “enough is enough”, I want to tell you what talking dirty to a woman really means.
Spicing up your relationship with dirty talk doesn’t mean that you should call your girlfriend a whore, a bitch and your worthless sex slave, as soon as you throw her on the bed. This can motivate her to pack her suitcase and to move to her mother, especially when your relationship stands on wobbly planks.
The real art of dirty talk has nothing to do with the shit you see in porn movies. What you say doesn’t matter that much. It’s about how you say it. Whispering “good girl”, or “what shall I do with you?” into her ear is way more effective than talking to her as if she applied for a casting with Pierre Woodman.
10. Toys are Not Only for Perverts
There is something funny about sex toys.
Whenever I talk about sex toys with women, they are usually very open towards them. They nearly all admit that they have one or two vibrators at home, that they use toys when they masturbate and that toys are an essential part of their sex life. When I ask them if they would like to use toys when they have sex with a guy, most of them say that they would love to try it out.
Whenever I talk about sex toys with men, they react in the complete opposite way. Nobody admits that they have used sex toys and whenever I ask them if they can imagine using toys during sex, they usually call me a freak or a pervert.
You might think that sex is more of a taboo topic for women, because they often run the risk for being judged, but when it comes to sex toys men are definitely a lot more scared and paranoid than women.
I don’t really know why, but most men would rather cut off their dicks than trying out sex toys. This is a big mistake, at least when you ask yourself how to spice things up in the bedroom. Your girlfriend might secretly fantasize about having a dildo up her ass while you lick her from behind.
I want it, I want it!
Yes, your girlfriend might fantasize about shit like that and it is your job as the man in her life to make sure that her fantasies come true. Talk to your girlfriend about sex toys and when you have the feeling that she is into it, you can invite her on a shopping trip to the sex shop near you.
11. You Don’t Have to Masturbate Alone
Who says that masturbation is just for the nights that you spend on your own?
It can actually be quite arousing and exciting for a couple to masturbate in front of each other. Masturbation is an extremely intimate thing and when you allow a person you are very close with to witness how you satisfy yourself, the connection between both of you can get even stronger.
I know that this sounds like some wicked pseudoscientific bullshit, but you should definitely give it a shot.
If you have never done it before, you will feel as if you would have sex for the first time. Seriously, you and your partner will probably have the feeling that you just start to explore your sexuality together. You’ll feel like teenagers again, which can be a very good thing.
Just tell your girlfriend that you want to try out something new and that she can end it if she gets too uncomfortable. From all the women I have done this with there was only one who didn’t want to do it. She was really uptight and had some issues with masturbating. The chance that she says no is really small. Taking this risk is worth it.
All the other women I have done this with loved the idea of pleasing themselves in front of a guy who gets turned on by this, even though they were a bit shy about it at the beginning. Once your girlfriend sees how much you are turned on by the way she caresses her pussy, she wants to replace her fingers with your tongue and your dick.
What Some Mexican Salsa Does to Your Relationship
Now you know how to spice things up in the bedroom, but do you also know why you should add some Mexican salsa…um some playfulness, dirty talk and all the other stuff to your repertoire of sexual skills?
You might think that this is a rhetorical question, but I am actually serious about it. It is pretty obvious that your sex life gets better when you add the necessary spice to it, but that’s by far not all that will happen.
Besides the time you need to jump on top of her and to fire your white little friends either inside the condom or inside of her, love, trust and connection are also important aspects of a healthy and happy relationship.
The good news is that your love and the connection you have with her will get stronger, the more you spice up your sex life. Good sex has the power to release some pretty intense hormonesthat make women fall for you.
Once you have spiced up things in the bedroom you will experience how it feels when a woman who you almost lost, falls in love with you again. It’s an incredible feeling.
Summed Up Wisdom
If you want to know how to spice things up in the bedroom you should leave the salsa sauce in your fridge and start to use your imagination. I know, the Mexican joke gets old, but adding some playfulness to your sex life never gets old.
Once you have realized that it is okay to laugh in the bedroom and that being open and relaxed about all the funny things that can happen between the sheets is okay, you can start to become creative. Common, I know that you can think of more than the missionary position.
A sensual massage can be exactly what she needs to calm down and to relax. This can be the starting point for an unforgettable sexual experience. Just make sure that you don’t jump from the starting line straight to the finish line. There’s so much more to sex than your three second long orgasm.
Sharing your deepest desires with her and having sex at unusual places can also spice things up between you and your partner. Once you have realized that the good girl you are dating is actually pretty naughty and enjoys things inside all of her holes, you should be willing to dress up for her, to study the art of talking dirty to a woman and to add sex toys and intimate masturbation sessions to your sexual repertoire. If you do that, you’ll experience how your sex life gets better and your love gets stronger.