t’s said the best part of fighting is making up, and that’s absolutely true.
One reason make-up sex seems like the best sex is that stress hormones and emotions are at a fever pitch, says Nina Hartley, adult performer, sex educator, and star of new movie “Marriage 2.0”. The fever of our anger combined with that of our passionate reconnection can be absolutely combustable and that leads to amazing sex.
While it may be a bit dysfunctional to be turned on when we’re angry, a lot of us are — and if hate sex is a thing, ‘I just hated you and now I don’t’ sex totally is, too. Letting your anger go and channeling those feelings into someone can make for mind-blowing sex. And that’s just one reason that make-up sex is the best sex. Here’s a few others:
1. It relieves tension
Arguing can cause tension in the body. The muscular movements and deep breathing of sex help release that tension like a good round of yoga, says sex expert Katrina “Rainsong” Messenger.
2. It makes for great verbal foreplay
Lets be real. Some of that banter while you are fighting is really about fighting, and a lot is also about pushing each other’s buttons. Go with that and take it to the next level.
3. It allows you to be vulnerable.
After the vulnerability of deep emotional sharing, your heart is often wide open. “When you get really good at communicating your feelings with each other, deep conversations become forms of emotional foreplay, so that by the end of your difficult conversation you’re ready to melt into each other,” says Messenger.
4. It makes your sex energy extra intense.
When the energy is channeled away from attacking our partners to wanting to be close with them, it makes the coupling extra-intense, says Hartley. The flush of relief that we’re not actually breaking up is converted to desire and a renewed appreciation of our partners.
5. It reminds you that you’re really good together.
Sometimes makeup sex reminds you both you’re really good together. Sure, you had a stupid little fight but was it really that important to hold a grudge? Particularly if you’re both stubborn, you just won’t allow yourself to drop your guard, talk it out, and say I’m sorry. “Acting out how you feel might be easier. You can show him that you love him anyway and that you’re ready to reconnect with him, through sex, which can be almost as effective, and definitely more efficient when it comes to bridging the gap and getting out of a slump,” says relationship expert Laurel House.
6. Let’s be honest: It may have been a while.
Depending on how long you were on the outs with your partner, it may have been a while since the last time you made love, making it that much sweeter when the thirst is quenched, says Messenger.
– Your Tango