I lost my virginity the way that a girl dreams of: to my dedicated, kind high school boyfriendwho adored me, with candles lit and Boys II Men playing softly in the background. Totally not kidding. My first ‘special sex’ was pretty stereotypical (and okay, so sweet), but it took me nearly a decade later to really understand just how “special” sex can get.
There’s nothing like that first time you orgasm and finally understand what the hype was all about, or when you get up the nerve to have a sexy vacation tryst (and no, you’ll never see that person again, but whoa, what a night). Or frankly, when you feel like a lingerie model because you’ve worked so hard to get fit, and you’re crazy-confident on top.
1. The “We Just Said ‘I Love You’ and I’m Trying My Best Not to Cry” Sex
OMG, we’re totaling changing our Facebook status in the morning, but first … get naked, babe.
2. The “You Just Bought Me a F*cking Diamond Ring and We’re Getting Married” Sex
Yes to the proposal. And yes to getting laid, you amazing man, you.
3. The “I’m On Vacation and This Doesn’t Add to My Number” Sex
Bonus points if you don’t speak the same language. There is no reason for words right now. Shhh.
4. The “I Hate You So Much I Need To Have Hate-F*ck You” Sex
You SUCK. But you’re really hot. And we need to f*ck to get this hatred out of our systems.
5. The “I’m Finally Your Wife – And Sorry I’m a Bit Drunk From Our Wedding! – Sex”
Holy moly! We’re MARRIED! OMG … the room is spinning, honey. Can we do it in the morning?
6. The “You Are Unexpectedly Terrible in Bed, But I’ve Been Thinking About Having SexWith You Forever” Sex
Wow. That was … disappointing.
7. The “I Just Got a Raise and Feel Like a Boss Bitch” Sex
I’m on top tonight, babe. Get ready for the BEST sex of your life. Because an extra $5K a year never looked so hot.
8. The “Trying-To-Recreate-The-Notebook, I Have to Have You Right Now” Sex
It’s never as good as it looks in the movies. But hey, you gave it a college try because ITS STILL NOT OVER.
9. The “I Haven’t Had Sex in Months and I Needed This So, So, So Badly” Sex
Buh-bye dry spell. Hello, orgasm.
10. The “I’m Pregnant and We Don’t Have to Use a Condom Sex”
Sex when you don’t have to worry about having a baby? Amazing.
11. “The I’m Not Pregnant and I Totally Thought I Was, Thank You Universe” Sex
You are definitely wearing a condom. Don’t even ask.
12. The “So That’s What Multiple Orgasms Feel Like” Sex
My life will never be the same. DAMN.
13. The “We Have the Whole Place to Ourselves So Let’s Get Loud” Sex
Time to raise the roof and lock the door. Just in case.