The joy of sex could be even more joyful if you were having orgasms. And the sad fact of the matter is that far too many of us women are not “coming” to the party. Sure sex can be great without having the big O, but it’s even better if you do. And you should. You deserve it. That feeling. The incredible, often mind-blowing experience. It is oh so good.
There are reasons you may not be having an orgasm that go beyond the reality that your lover just isn’t sure how to properly please you. (Talk to your men, ladies. Tell him what feels good! Show him!) These are things you can change in your life in order to feel better during sex. Behold these six shocking reasons you aren’t having an orgasm.
We look damn sexy in high heels, and we feel sexy, too. One of the reasons may be because certain high-end brands create an arch in their shoe that replicates the way your pelvis tilts when nearing orgasm, which in turn takes away some of that pleasure build-up. Dr. Eden Fromberg of SOHO OBGYN told Time, “An orgasm is usually like going from zero to 60. If you’re already at 55 [from wearing heels], you’re not going to have a full experience.” Hmmm.
2. You are on birth control.
Two words: Libido killer.
3. You sit in a chair for too long during the day.
Weird fact: Sitting in a chair can get us ladies aroused due to pressure on the pudendal nerves which arouses the vagina, clitoris, and anus. But sitting too long, all day everyday, can mess up our pelvic floor and psoas muscles, which prevents us from having those OMG kind of orgasms. Luckily if we get up and walk around more, even do some five minute yoga stretches throughout the day, you can work those oh-so important muscles out.
4. You aren’t drinking enough water.
Our bodies are mostly fluids. If we don’t nurture it with water, we simply won’t be able to achieve those mind-blowing moments as easily. Refill please!
5. You aren’t breathing right.
Breathing can help you reach orgasm. Some of us hold our breath at moments during sex, but that can reduce your climax or prevent you from having an orgasm. Deep exhales can help you reach the big O with more intensity.
6. You are refusing to give up control.
Relaxing during sex and allowing your body to truly feel the pleasure can be hard to do, but vital to fully feeling the best sensations. Learn to be more open, less uptight, have a tall glass of water, and breathe deeply in and out, and more pleasure can be yours.
Are you guilty of any of these libido killers? Which one shocked you the most?